Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Nerd News in Brief

Now that I have shaken off my Thanksgiving stupor, I’ve elected to drop a little Nerd News in Brief on your collective ass. I’ve got a couple of other projects percolating (namely this month’s blog feature and the penultimate RFH podcast of 2006), so hopefully this’ll keep you entertained until such a time as those are hatched. Hey, I do what I can.

  • In addition to the forthcoming projects from Beefy and Ultraklystron, YTCracker also has a new album dropping in the near future. Nerd Life should be available from the fine folks at Nerdy South Records soon, or, as we say in the actual nerdy south, d’reckly.
  • There’s been a lot of love directed squarely at old Z. of late. In an odd piece of post-modern serendipity, the latest edition of JALP featured an extended segment during which my bro Jones McFly discussed a Hipster, please! blog post about… well… Jones McFly and JALP. It was like the audio equivalent of a form constant. Only warm and fuzzy. By the same token, my Florida home-skillet funky49 recently requested the cacophonous tones of my jarring drawl in a song he was working on. The track (called “Hurricane Love”) could be aptly described as a nerdcore hillbilly sex romp with strong meteorological undertones. I provide the voice of Carl Ray, the congested, disinterested, and totally fictitious weatherman of Virginia’s WHSP.
  • While waiting in line at her local Best Buy to purchase the Nintendo Wii, MC Router decided to amuse herself (and her fellow fanboys/girls) with a little impromptu DDR, some friendly interviews, and even a bit of Emulation Station. The footage itself is a little dark, but it is fun none-the-less.
  • If you (like Router and myself) are one of the lucky ones who currently have a Nintendo Wii in your possession and you’d like to take a picture of said system and its peripherals shoved down your pants, have I got news for you! CAG redgopher is currently soliciting for (non-pornographic) images for a site tentatively called “Wii In My Pants.” You know you want to.
  • In other trouser-related gaming news, Germany has recently launched its first magazine directed specifically at female gamers. The weirdest part is that Play Vanilla is directed at casual female gamers… whom, I can’t imagine, actually need or want a magazine of their own. Step in the right direction or shameless cash-in? You be the judge.

Is that enough nerd news for you? I sure hope so, ‘cause daddy’s tired and needs a nap. I reckon that means said stupor is back on. Such is my cross to bear.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Shock and Awe

My wife decided that we should do some shopping on Black Friday. Since I love buying shit slightly more than I hate crowds, I caved without much hesitation. I picked up a nice 1 GB SD card (for my Wii) dirt cheap and a pair of Steve Maddens for a song, so I was pretty pleased with the days haul. And then I saw something that made the day even better that changed my world forever:


Tis the season!

Yes, ladies and gentleman, this delightful Asian fellow is wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with The Shocker and captioned “Luv & Piss.” It is the bestest t-shirt ever, and I just wanted to share. You're welcome.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

New hotness from old friends

Okay, so with Turkey Day looming directly ahead of us, there seems to be a palpable dearth of things to talk about. Still, a few guys are going out of their way to make sure the chatter never completely dies down.

Doctor Popular, for example, has chosen today to launch DrownRadio.com in earnest. You should check it out, and not just because he’s dropping a new nerdcore track called “Sicko” (featuring MC Inadequate). There’s also a ton of the good Doctor’s previous work available for download and (as he makes explicit mention of being in-studio at present) we can look forward to much more crunchy musical goodness in the future. Doc’s good people. I demand that you love him!

MC Lars (who will, incidentally, be splitting a bill with a certain MC Frontalot on the 18th in NY) has recently launched a podcast in both audio and video form. He also promises to release a new single every month henceforth. Are you excited? I’m excited.

Your favorite bespectacled otaku Karl “Ultraklystron” Olson has recently been featured on the Anime Pulse podcast. His track “So Long Kids” intros the show for two simple reasons:

  1. the subject of said tirade, 4Kids, has recently lost more money than me at the dog track
  2. Karl is the shit
    1. the above point is further evidenced via his own guerilla gig outside of the Bellevue Best Buy

Lastly, Beefy leaked yet another new track on this week’s JALP. This one is all about Jones. For those who may be unacquainted with the Beefy/Jonesey dynamic: think Sir Simon Milligan and his manservant Hecubus. It’s like that, only with more ultimate darkness, and maybe a tad more homoeroticism. Still, I got nothing but love for Beef and Jones, so (on the off chance you don’t’ already listen to their podcast) check it out.

And those are just some of the hardworking nerd-type people that are charging forward while I, personally, rest on my laurels awaiting a holiday feast.

And by laurels I mean ass.

And by holiday feast I mean beer and Stove Top Stuffing.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Of relative unimportance

Here are a few things of which you may be unaware. All are relatively unimportant, but I thought I’d pass ‘em along.

Thing 1: Thanks to putting in an early pre-order at my local Game Crazy, I was able to procure a Wii with minimal difficulty yesterday. I should have it connected to the Inter-tubes soon. If you too have a Wii and would like to exchange friend codes, just holla @ ya boy.

Thing 2: Unfortunately yesterday I also procured a puppy. It’s like a mini- daschund/mini-pincher/fruit bat looking thing. My wife and son insisted that we were in desperate need of such a beast. I remain unsure. The jury is still out concerning how long it will remain with us until I lateral it to my boy Seamonkey and his in-house zoo.

Thing 3: Bill O’Reilly is a crazy cunt. Okay, I’m sure you all knew that, but I just thought I’d pass along that little gem in case you needed further proof.

Friday, November 17, 2006

A mermaid that was really a manatee

Do you like the nerdcore hip hop? Of course you do.

Would you like to see Florida's own MC Wreckshin and Fanatical perform in the rain in front of a Best Buy to a captive audience camping out in hopes of snagging the highly sought after PS3? Oh, I know you wanna see that shit!

Seriously, if you have 20 to spare you genuinely need to examine the footage posted over at Google Video. It is a wonder to behold. While Fanatical and Wreckshin are no strangers to guerilla performance, this project was a true stroke of artistic genius. It demonstrates not only the duo's spontaneous, unpredictable performance style, but also their dedication to the craft. It’s like viral marketing with a soul.

Wreckshin and Fanatical, I salute you both on a job well done. Now what do you have planned for Black Friday?

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Radio Free Hipster Ep. 11: Broken Glasses, Broken Heart

Romance is hard. There’s more to love than flowers and candy and sex in public restrooms. There’s a lot of inherent listening. There’s a lot of compromise. There’s also an exorbitant amount of “putting up with [the other person’s] shit.” My wife can certainly attest to that last part.
And yet still, romance is grand. It’s an ideal to which we as social creatures aspire, and for much more than a mere primal urge to procreate. Romance inspires great art, but not as much, I’d wager, as the famed post-romance slump. Shitty times breed great music.
Show Notes
Intro: Beefy - “Hello, friends” / “David’s Sister
Beefy also did a Flash animated video of an abridged version of this track. You should watch it. You should also check out this leaked track from his upcoming album. It will change your life. Possibly.
Z’s first interlude: “She farts every time she laughs.”
For the record: I do not know a coffee shop girl with lax dental hygiene and intestinal distress. I just wanted to clear that up.
Track 1: Rowlf & Kermit - “I Hope that Something Better Comes Along”
I had to harvest this song from YouTube. That should explain the shitty quality.
Track 2: Jonathan Richman - “True Love is Not Nice”
Little X. played a Richman tune in the last podcast, as well. Jonathan is nerd rock royalty.
Track 4: Fanatical - “I Don’t Wanna Be Right”
Somehow hearing Fanatical talking about the Internet having an orifice is even more disturbing than hearing Beefy spout the line.
Track 5: The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets - “The Innsmouth Look
I assume you’ve all read “The Shadow over Innsmouth” because, y’know, you’re nerds.
Z’s 2nd interlude: “You can’t put a Band-aid on a broken heart.”
As I’m sure I’ve already mentioned Indicashadow is Benjamin Bear. Ben’s a nice fellow. If you see him this weekend, tell him I said hi.
Track 6: mc chris - “Cookie Breath” / Anonymous Listener – “Yummiest Meow-Meow” / IRN MNKY - “Scrubs Close to Me”
The best line from “Cookie Breath” is my eyes well up when your car pulls up. Hands down!
Track 7: Shael Riley - “Build Me up Buttercup
Shael does magnificently odd covers. Should you see him this weekend, give him my regards as well.
Track 8: Ween – “Piss up a Rope”
I’m sure Darth-Apu has been waiting for me to drop some Ween into the mix. I begrudgingly admit that Ween is a perfect example of lo-fi dork rock. This song is their best. It talks about pee-pee.
Track 10: Hayseed Dixie - “Keepin’ Your Poop in a Jar (Live)”
I am not a fan of country music in a modern sense, but I have been known to occasionally get my drink on to the soothing sounds of classic Willie, David, Johnny, and Hank the 1st. I will, however, go on record as saying that a bluegrass song about preserving feces garners instant hillbilly-nerd status.
Z’s final interlude: “Not, as they say, a handsome woman.”
Everyone has an opinion on Yoko. Some say she broke up the Beatles. Some say that her contribution to Lennon’s happiness and the ensuing inspiration more than makes up for it. But I think one matter on which we can all agree is that she’s no looker.
Track 11: Headphone Souls - “Oh Yoko’s Ugly”
I’m not overly fond of Bubba Sparxxx, but he was country enough to fit in well after the previous twofer, and “Oh Yoko” was just lovey-dovey enough to mesh well with the rest of the episode.
The named I had originally proposed for this show was “Busted Glasses, Broken Heart,” but I changed it at the last minute. Both iterations were inspired by the title of an excellent Murder City Devils album.
You don’t need to know that or anything… I’m just sayin’.
Thanks so much for listening. Thanks especially to Beefy and Mr. Anonymous Listener for their contributions. Your comments, questions, and suggestions are always welcome.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Rampant fanboyism

I just returned form my local GameStop where I picked up my pre-ordered copy of Ubisoft’s Red Steel for the Wii. Is it wrong that I’m this excited about getting a game that I’ll have to wait until Sunday to actually procure a system on which to play? Probably so, but I am.

While I was there I also picked up my other pre-order (a copy of Final Fantasy III for the DS), so at least I’ll have something to amuse myself with until my Wii arrives.

Is it also wrong that I still giggle a little when I say the word Wii out loud? Yeah. I thought so.

Monday, November 13, 2006

A GB of gigs!

That title is utter bullshit. What follows is not a GB of gigs. It’s a few kB of gigs at best, but I digress.

Unbeknownst to most, nerdcore season is upon us, and I’ve got the skinny on a bumper crop of live events that you won’t want (Homophones rule!) to miss.

This weekend the East Coast explodes with nerdly music and also righteous indignation, but we do that last part every weekend so let’s just focus on the music. In New York, NY (The city so nice they named it twice. The second name is Manhattan.) Lower East Side Productions presents Shael Riley at Bar 169 on Friday November 17th at 10:00pm. You should totally go.

PThe Shael! You down with EPP?

The following evening, Sacred Grounds in Tampa, Florida welcomes back the Emergency Pizza Party crew. MC Wreckshin, Sir-Up, JeffMK, Betty Rebel, Fanatical, and funky49 will all be there, and Benjamin Bear may even be around as well. That, kids, is one helluva lineup.

After recuperating from your turkey high, you West Coasters will want to make your way to 164 Washington St. in Pioneer Square on December 2nd to a venue called FUEL and listen to Optimus Rhyme, The Goondocks, and Beefy bring the noise. Though not performing, I have it on good authority that a certain Mr. Karl Olson will be in attendance.

Though you already know that the man is currently touring, as they say, like a muthafucker, mc chris’s Hartford, CT gig on December 9th at The Webster is of particular importance due to the inclusion of opener Big Tizzle. Search as you like, you’ll be unable to find a larger tizzle anywhere!

Lastly, due to a scheduling conflict, the MC Lars/MC Frontalot Bowery Ballroom show on December 18th NYC has been relocated to the Mercury Lounge. Unfortunately, this venue is of the 18 and up persuasion. If you are under 18 and have purchased tickets, you can return them from whence they came.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Share your pain

Okay, so it’s not quite as prestigious an offer as presented recently by YTCracker, but I’m currently looking to add a little extra pizzazz to the next edition of Radio Free Hipster.

RFH Ep. 11, which I’m currently working on under the title "Busted Glasses, Broken Heart," is all about love and relationships and about how they often times don’t turn out like you’d hoped and/or planned for both the nerdy and the non-nerdy alike. The song list is shaping up nicely but, in the interest of giving voice to the spurned, I’d like to solicit some little spoken-word clips from listeners who wouldn’t mind sending in anonymous (or not-so anonymous) messages to ex-lovers.

Did she break your heart and take your money? Did he tell you that you were just like your mother? Do you secretly still miss her? Would you just like to get all your stuff back?

All I’m looking for is some little snippets to smatter between tracks. I’m thinking something along the lines of "Hi, this is {your nickname or first name}, and this message is for {his/her nickname or first name}: I want all my CDs back!"

But really, it’s your call.

All I ask is that you keep it topical and brief. Depending on how many people are actually bored enough to submit these I may not be able to include them all, but I’ll do my best.

Any takers can contact me via the email link located in the sidebar. I ask that attached files be MP3s of no more than 20 seconds in length with bitrates of no less than 64 and no more than 192 kbps.

I’d like to point out, of course, that this won’t do anything at all in the way of helping to mend a broken relationship or get your favorite Cure t-shirt back, but sometimes sharing as good.

So, y’know, feel free to share.

It’s therapeutic.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Gary Busey’s mechanical tiger

Okay, so in all my Halloween merrymaking I managed to miss VH1’s supernatural-themed Celebrity Paranormal Project. Initially, I really didn’t feel this to be too big of a loss, as it’s essentially just a C-list celebrity version of MTV’s Fear.

This all changed when I caught a rerun last night. First off, it featured metal-nerd/marginal comedic actor Hal Sparks, whom I seem to find hilarious in spite of myself. But the big payoff was Gary Busey. Oh yeah: Gary-fucking-Busey!

He prattled on and on about the supernatural, his innate understanding of the nature of the paranormal, and “sounds that were like a mechanical tiger.” You just can’t make this shit up.

Don’t get me wrong, the show is horrible: blatantly staged and poorly paced. And yet, with upcoming guests like the great Gilbert Gottfried, I am hooked.

For some reason, there’s no YouTube of Gary’s rambling, but you can get the gist of the Busey experience here.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Sights for sore eyes

Director/producer Dan Lamoureux has just released the (near) final list of artists included in his upcoming Nerdcore for Life documentary. Though he’s taken some slack for it already, I think he’s got a really solid line-up. There are some old favorites, some newer additions, and even a few inclusions that, even if not patently nerdcore, are easily relatable to the movement as a whole. Most importantly, I think he’s done an excellent job zeroing in on a lot of the dominant personalities in the genre. The breakdown is as follows:

  • MC Plus +
  • The Lords of the Rhymes
  • Ytcracker and the Spamtec Crew
  • Ultraklystron
  • The Futuristic Sex Robotz
  • Nursehella
  • Beefy
  • Optimus Rhyme
  • 1337 Geek Beat
  • Shael Riley
  • Rai
  • Jesse Dangerously
  • Fanatical
  • The Former Fat Boys
  • High-C
  • The Sucklord
  • Monzy

And, to quote the man:

If all goes as planned, Baddd Spellah (#18) and MC Hawking (#19) will also be appearing and we're working on getting permission to use footage of MC Frontalot. (#20)

As you wait patiently for footage of Nerdcore for Life to surface, how about you check out the following video for Beefy’s track “Internet Celebrity” by ChurchHatesTucker? It’s made up of footage of… well… internet celebrities, and it is guaranteed to rock your balls!*





*No actual guarantee of ball rockage implied. Offer void in Arkansas, Texas, Florida, and Zimbabwe. In the event that actual time of ball rockage exceeds two hours, please consult a physician. Your miles may vary.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Radio Free Hipster Ep. 10: Poor Parenting on My Part

This is an experiment. Not an experiment in sound, though, as that would be stepping on toes. Truthfully, this is an idea I’ve had since I tried to convince my boy to say something cute for the very first edition of Radio Free Hipster. It just seemed too easy; too valid a scheme to pass up.
Kids enjoy music, and I make it a point to let Little X. hear new and different tunes everyday. As a significant chunk of my free time is devoted to seeking out and examining music with a decidedly nerdy slant, it is only logical that a large portion of what he hears falls within such bounds. Still, there are a lot of things – valid musical entities – that he truly loves that I just couldn’t make fit into the format of RFH. For example, Slayer is (no matter how much I tried to convince myself otherwise) just not geeky enough to warrant inclusion.
Whereas the two previous episodes of the podcast were very focused, with a lot of attention paid to both the flow of the music and the pacing of the sets, this episode is a good bit more loose. Still, things came together much more seamlessly than I would have thought. The fact that the second song set focuses heavily on tracks about food and eating is a testament to that.
I’d like to thank X. for helping me out with this. I’m sure he’d have much rather been watching Little Einsteins or chasing the neighbors’ dog, but instead he took some time to help his old man. I really wanted him to help out with the spoken interludes as well, but he’s at that age where he only speaks when it suits him and I reckon it didn’t. Maybe I’ll do this again sometime. Or maybe I’ll let my wife or one of my other friends or family members have a crack at putting together an episode’s playlist.
It seems like a good idea to step back and let someone else drive once in a while in keeping with the community aspect of the blog and podcast. Plus I’m a lazy bastard, which adds an entirely different level of appeal to such proceedings.
Show Notes
Intro: Bill Cosby – “My Father Confused Me” / Glenn Case – “Baby Learns to Crawl
Glenn basically covered Paul Westerberg’s Stereo in its entirety. It is excellent. You should check it out.
Z’s 1st Interlude: “Pre-language”
The books and caregivers and experts keep telling me that X. is pre-language. Truthfully, he can say 50-60 words and phrases, ranging from the functional (“I eat that”) to the insightful (“no money”).
Track 1: Tom Rhodes – “Weed Ghost” / Beefy – “Whitesican
Little X. is officially whitesican. Beefy said so.
Track 2: Optimus Rhyme – “Obey the Moderator
Train in Vain” would’ve made more since, but I just played that one a few episodes ago.
Track 3: Miss Frenchie – “Dirty Jump”
Frenchie spins a lot in London and Leicester, but she’s actually from Bordeaux. It’s good to know that, while undeniably whitesican, X. stills reps his frog roots! ;)
Track 4: MC Frontalot – “Gonna be Your Man
Though he is physically incapable of doing so, my son really does try to sing this song. Mostly he just says the “man” part and bobs his head. And oh how he smiles!
Z’s 2nd Interlude: “The Chicken Dance”
Apologies if the background music is a bit overpowering this ep. I always have a problem getting MIDI volume properly adjusted.
Track 5: Moose and Zee – “Scary Monsters clip” / Jonathan Richman “Abominable Snowman in the Market”
I love how Jon reaches out to the Abominable Snowman and offers emotional support. It’s beautiful.
Track 6: Wesley Willis – “Rock ‘N’ Roll McDonald’s
I was lucky enough to meet Wesley a few years before his death. I got a signed CD. It’s not as good as a headbutt, but at least it’s something.
Track 7: CoqRoq – “Bob Your Head”
Little X. gets into metal: speed, thrash, maybe a little black, and the occasional corporate chicken metal.
Track 8: Bill Cosby – “My Boyscout Troupe”
I miss when Bill Cosby was animated and swore a lot. Those were simpler days!
Track 9: Sir Loin – “For the Shorties”
“Ya got canned goods just collectin' dust / Got meat, got fruit, got vegetables /
Only prerequisite’s that it’s edible / Get ya freak on at my freaky food festival”
Z’s Final Interlude: “A totally incompetent parent”
It occurs to me that I sometimes let my child listen to music concerning themes that are decidedly adult. And that’s not even factoring in the incessant swearing. It’s not too big a deal now, but what will I do when he tells his third grade teacher that he’s “sick of breathing; it’s fuckin’ boring / All the time [he’s] got the asthma and the snoring”?
Track 10: Me – “Peanut Butter Banquet”
As you already know, my name ends with neither Spellah, Synder, nor 49. I’m no kind of DJ or producer. This track incorporates elements of Bloc Party, Buckwheat Boys, and Shel Silverstein, and you are under no obligation to sit through it.

And that’s it, folks. Thanks for listening, and let me (us) know what you think. Doing the podcasts is generally a solitary effort, so it felt good to have a little support “in the booth.” Even if said support kept poking me in the eye.
Looking at the above, it’s impossible not to realize that Little X. likes danceable songs that are oft-times about food. That’s just weird. But what can you expect? Weirdness is, perhaps, a staggeringly genetic predisposition.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Rewired

Under much duress, Wired magazine has finally included a (passing) mention of MC Router. Okay, so technically it’s in the "Rants and Raves" section and technically she wrote and submitted it herself, but the bottom line is Router made it into Wired. It’s lip service, to be sure, but at least it partly rectifies the problem of Wired completely glossing over the female artists in the nerdcore genre in its previous effort. It ain’t much, but a victory’s a victory... even if they did tag the comment "Representin' for Equality."


Girls are nerds too!

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Nerd news in brief

Now that Halloween has come and gone, it’s time for me to sober up, dust myself off, and catch up on all the shit that’s been going down in the nerd community of late. Saddle up, kids.

  • Beefy and Snyder won their Song Fight! thanks to the undeniable rockitude of “Outside Paradise.” Goddamn friendflooder.
  • In other Beefy-related news, the BoCon gig was a rousing success, even given the facts that Router was ogled and Idahoans don’t understand the inherent comedic value of the word “Whitesican.” More pics of Router, Beef, and MC Plus+ are forthcoming.
  • Should you currently find yourself with a dearth of listenable material, may I humbly suggest you check out MCeeP’s recently completed Nerdcore Demon EP and the collected works of Masters Glenn Case (of Frontalittle Squad fame) and the Shael Riley (of Shael Riley fame).
  • Speaking of Shael, a bootleg of the man live at The Western Front is now free for the taking, compliments of fellow Frontalot BBS poster falcomadol.
  • As far as non-musical news goes, I’d be neglecting my title as Defender of the Faith if I didn’t remind you that we’re only a couple of weeks away from the PS3 and Wii console launches. Have your pre-ordered yet? No? Poor bastard.
  • And also on the video game tip; Lik Sang is no more. They played with fire and they were consumed.
  • Lastly, if you’re not watching Heroes, you should be. I’m serious. It has a cheerleader and a junkie and a Japanese guy and super powers galore. It’s like the unholy spawn of J. Michael Straczynski and John Hughes.

And there you have it. I didn’t miss anything did I? If so, feel free to enlighten me.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Happy Halloween

We here at Hipster, please! (which is namely, y’know, me) would like to wish you a delightfully nerdy Halloween.

SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKY!!!!11one1!!1!

Oh yeah. I went there.


Monday, October 30, 2006

Last-minute entries

Twas the day before Halloween and all through the office, I was um… goofing off and writing in my blog.

Wow. That… that was just bad.

Anyway, on the off chance that you need yet another little shot of Samhain –centered merriment, here are a couple of last-minute entries.

Our friends over at Rhyme Torrents have just released a Halloween-themed EP, complete with tracks from Emergency Pizza Party, Ultraklystron, DJ Snyder, and RT’s own High-C. Download it now and keep the werewolves at bay.

On a more personal note, this year I decided to nerd up the family jack-o-lantern. After a few (crappy) preliminary sketches and a handful of useless ideas, I settled on the ubiquitous Boo – perhaps the least appreciated of Mario-world canon fodder – as my subject. Obviously, I took pictures.



Boo sketched on a punkin.

The completely carved Boo.

Boo glowing with a preternatural light! SPOOKY!!!

Friday, October 27, 2006

Cosplay 101

The Japanese love non-standard contractions. Examples include digicam, sekuhara, and, of course, Pokémon. And these are merely the tip of the iceberg.

But what of cosplay? At its core it is a simple combination of the words “costume” and “play,” and yet at its heart it is so much more. The phenomenon is both a thriving sub-culture in Japan and abroad. It’s like some wondrous cult, where adherents can’t help but gush about its simple majesty while those of us on the outside stare slack-jawed and shift our weight uncomfortably.

Deeper still lies the fact that cosplay is, perhaps, the nerdiest of endeavors. It effortlessly combines tried and true geek elements from across the board. It’s one part roleplaying, one part collecting, one part DYI work ethic, and a healthy splash of alcohol mixed together with good, old fashioned nerdly obsession.

While I am, to put it bluntly, teh cosplay n00b, I just so happen to have at my disposal two excellent examples of its North American proponents. While participating in their earlier Q&A session with Hipster, please!, Karl Olson and Rai Kamishiro were nice enough to take on a few extra questions concerning the fine art of cosplay.

Drink the Kool-Aid and read on.

---------------

For the uninitiated, would you care to give a little overview of cosplay?

Karl: Dressing up as a particular character from something, and that "something" can be anything from a book to a video game, and anything in between.

How long have you been interested in cosplay?

Rai: Since I was tiny sized reptilian, but actively involved in it since middle school. First cosplay was as Ash from Pop'n Music in Japan, and as Goku from Saiyuki in the US.

How competitive is cosplay culture? Is there a lot of camaraderie between cosplayers, or is it more a game of one-upmanship?

Rai: As much as nerdcore is competitive, I would say. There's a lot of people in it for the fun, and a lot of people in it for the attention. There's a fine line between gushing about someone's character and competing with them though. Prolly less "I did you one" feelings in nerdcore, but it can be a battlefield out there.

I've gotten people that have cosplayed the same character as me from Gintama being so awesome about it that the whole group ended up going for parfaits, Taiwanese cosplayers loving my orange Agito (AX, the only place aside from Tokyo Big site that you'll find four flavors of Agito....) and I've had Shonen Bats challenge me to skate battles.

Bent their fucking bats, too.

What's the biggest cosplay event you've ever attended?

Karl: Well, I don't think I've ever attended an event that was strictly about cosplay, but the biggest event I've attended that has cosplay at it was probably Anime Expo. The final attendance for that event was well over 40,000 people, and I'd say about 1/5 of the people there were cosplaying.

The bulk of cosplay focuses on emulating the looks of anime, manga, or video game characters. Can you cosplay outside these bounds? Could I cosplay as, for instance, Harry Potter or James Bond?

Rai: Of course. A mild hobby of mine for a while was going to movie screenings cosplaying as a movie character. I also had much funs cosplaying Kenny from South Park.

he he he, only since I've done Willy Wonka (Chocolate factory) and Viktor (Corpse Bride).

Karl: Considering that I've seen a lot of Harry Potters, Legolases and Capt. Jack Sparrows at anime cons, sure. Granted, there is a lot of Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean doujinshi (fan comics,) but if we're using doujinshi as a guide for cosplay, then everything from Star Trek to the band Aerosmith is fair game. Besides, I think it's ultimately quality that counts.

How acceptable is it to cosplay as a character of the opposite sex? Could I, for example, cosplay as Tootie from The Facts of Life?

Rai: Er, cosplay would not exist if not for crossdressing Japanese school girls.

Seriously.

I've not yet cosplayed a normal female character. Did Guu from Jungle wa itsumo Hare nochi Guu, but it's questionable if Guu is a human shaped entity much less female. Rai's list has been all sorts of mostly male characters, like Sephiroth, Byakuya, Edward Elric, L, Genjyou Sanzo, Kurogane, Shonen Bat, Sakata Gintoki, Agito, Kenny, and Ichigo (In goth-loli) just to name a few.

There's a lot of (in)famous crossplayers out there; perhaps Rai will be one some day.

 From right to left: Rai, Karl, and friend Lucy get their goth-loli on!Karl: This gets back into quality. If you can convincingly crossplay, most people don't have an issue with it. It's the Man-Faye type stuff that is sort of unsettling (though to be fair, Man-Faye is very nice fellow.) Actually, the guys who go the kigurumi (with the full masks made to look like a given anime character,) can be outstandingly creepy in a way, but they usually do a great job of looking like the character. It's just a very jarring visual at points.

Many cosplay costumes are quite elaborate. Is cosplay an expensive hobby?

Karl: Depends on who/what you're cosplaying. If you're cosplaying a Gundam or Transformer with custom molded armor and electroluminescent lighting all over the place, that can be immensely expensive. On the flipside, there are characters that can be done with very plain clothes and right haircut.

How does cosplay relate to Japanese Gothic Lolita culture?

Rai: Mildly, [though] a lot of lines are blurred as one emulates the other, but often the cultures themselves are completely different. A cosplayer's aesthetics as a gothic lolita might differ highly from the mindset of when they cosplay. Cosplay is more appreciation/emulation, and gothic lolita is more expression/synthesis.

What’s more important to pulling off a great cosplay: the right costume or the right attitude?

Rai: Yes.

On one hand, y'can't just be a whole asshole about the thing. I've had cosplayers so cliquish I've wanted to go about ripping some brightly colored wigs, but you can't go in to it with a T-shirt that says "School girl B" and expect people to worship you either. I've had more fun with a dashed together Gintama group than with a polished FF [VII] group, but being told you're the only Bishy Byakuya seen in the biggest convention in America from a ridiculously cute Rukia has its ego stroking merits. And how my ego was stroked.

(Of course the fact that the very same little sister character told me later that I was totally having my ass uke'ed by the Renji I was trooping with was another ego matter entirely.)

Karl: The right costume obviously helps, but you can sell a less than perfect costume if back that up with the attitude.

What are your personal favorite characters to cosplay?

Karl: Well, since I'm usually press at most events I attend where cosplay is going on, I like characters who have relatively plain clothes and hair color close to mine, so I can cosplay without looking unprofessional. You might think that people wouldn't recognize that I'm cosplaying as such, but when some knows a show, they'll pick you out of a crowd no problem. I know I want to cosplay some of the characters from Honey And Clover as such, because it's a very realistic but funny slice of life series about art college students, and thus their are a number of characters in plain but distinct clothes that I could cosplay. Beyond that I really love that show, so there is a definite emotional connection too.

Rai: I had too much fun beating people as Shonen Bat.

Rai with sadistic tendancies? No, only when people are asking for beanings in the head by my golden bat. And what “thunks” they made, too.

Sephiroth was fun for a while, but dealing with obsessive (read: offering to rape in bushes) fangirls and toting a sword bigger than I was got old after a while.

Ed was fun, especially hanging with his English VA, but again, the fangirls. (This time in Shota flavor!)

Kenny was a blast just for the death scenes, and L had people offering to sign my death note.

What is the strangest or most elaborate cosplay costume you've ever seen?

Karl: Probably the people who cosplay convincingly as giant robots. The level of detail that can go into those costumes is crazy. Some of the Elegant Gothic Lolita cosplay is very impressive too, especially when they are replicating a style from a given magazine without buying anything off the shelf.

Rai: Hmmm, a glow in the dark light up freyja from FF. Made of the \/\/-|-|\|.

Strangest has got to be the two Hard Gays (actually a Japanese comedian) that showed [up] to AX.

Would you consider members of the Society for Creative Anachronism or other such groups dedicated to historical recreations cosplayers?

Karl: In an odd way, yeah. I mean, it's the same mindset at the very least - you're dressing up as someone and you're out to have fun.

In what ways do American cosplayers differ from their Japanese counterparts?

Rai: Hmm, less personal Moe involved. A lot of American cosplayers take it so personal that they have a hard time talking about their character, but a lot of J-region cosplayers I know will rant about the Moe or talk with me about pairings of their character since they have 25-35 events a year they can go to, instead of one or two a year. It's awesome to see someone portray their characters well, like a Zoro and Usopp I met two years ago at Sakura Con who looked good and acted extremely perfectly in their parts, but it's also fun to talk with a Agito about how you don't like the IkkixAgito semi-cannon pairing in the series, but could totally go for a AkitoxKaitoxAgito without them thinking you're going to stalk them and find you some bushes.

Halloween is just around the corner. Any tips for folks looking to give cosplay a try?

Karl: If you have big costume ideas, start now, and get ready to lose sleep if you don't. Beyond that, there are a million simple cosplays that can be done with just buying the right clothes, the right wig, the right accessories, and a little bit of sewing.

Rai: Enjoy the self. Don't get pissed if people don't know who you are. Even the King of All Cosmos gets drunk and trashes the universe, but only do that if you've got a 5cm tall kid that loves you enough to rebuild it. It's about your moe for the character, not other people's envisioning of it. School girls, avoid the tentacles. All their candy are belong to us.

---------------

And there you have it: the skinny on cosplay from two individuals who have paid their otaku dues. For more information on the cosplay phenomenon, check out your local library… Okay, that may actually be a bit of a stretch, but there are an abundant number of online resources that can be employed to such an end.

I would like to take a moment to thank both Karl and Rai for helping me put this feature together. Their input was invaluable and their exuberance palpable. I sincerely hope that those of you who, like me, were a little ignorant as to the concept of cosplay now find yourselves enlightened. At the very least, I hope you can appreciate the fact that I was able to connect cosplay with seminal 1980's situation comedy The Facts of Life. I aim to please.

By my calculations, you still have more than 72 hours to put this new knowledge to effective use. Tarry not, for Halloween waits for no man!

BoCon 2006

Greetings, my loyal nerdy constituents.

I am, at present, putting the final touches on my third October feature, but I wanted to take a moment to hip anyone in the Boise area to a little gig news that you may be unaware of.

This weekend, BoCon 2006 will be held at the Visual Arts Collective, and the Saturday night show will feature nerdcore superheroes MC Plus+, MC Router, and Beefy. For those not in the know, BoCon is an open-source cultural event. In this sense, open-source refers not only to software, but also to music, art, and digital works in general. The main focus of the con is “to demonstrate how creative individuals can build successful careers through collaboration and sharing.”

That’s an idea that I can definitely get behind, and I imagine many of you can as well. So, if you happen to be in the area, why not check out BoCon. And if you do, give lots of love to Beefy, Plus+, and Router.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

On zombies

This Saturday, Shaun of the Dead will make its network premiere on Comedy Central. Even if you’ve seen the film in its original, unedited form, you should still be there to catch it in all of its f-bomb redacted glory. If you have yet to watch this cinematic masterpiece: what the fuck is wrong with you?

I’ve made no secret my abhorrence of the undead. I don’t like ‘em, and I don’t trust ‘em. For other such zombiphobics in our ranks, this film stands as an excellent training tool. It teaches valuable lessons such as:

  • During an impending zombie holocaust, ensure that your cell phone is set to vibrate.
  • The local pub? Not such a good place to hideout.
  • Don’t say the zed word.
  • And, perhaps most importantly, David is a cunt who deserves to be eaten alive.

For the keen observer, there are a lot of little jewels to be gleaned from zombies in the media.

Max Brooks’s Zombie Survival Guide is an invaluable resource; not only is it a good read, but it also espouses the mantra “Organize before they rise!” Truer words were never spoken.

Likewise, Robert Kirkman and Tony Moore’s ongoing comic series The Walking Dead also gives some important tips concerning the undead. Foremost among them? Atlanta is a deathtrap. You aint’ gotta tell me twice.

Text-based MMORPG Urban Dead gives a fair overview of life in a zombie-infested wasteland. Special attention is to be paid to looting. Romero and Dead Rising were right; the mall is a treasure trove of zombie repelling goodies.

Speaking of gaming, you might also consider playing a little Resident Evil to sharpen your combat, critical thinking, and asinine puzzle solving skills. It may be important to note that, in addition to the valuable zombie avoidance exercises touted by earlier entries, Resident Evil 4 also surreptitiously teaches you how to deal with testy Spaniards.

So there you go. Armed with the knowledge provided via these pop culture outlets, I now loose you all into a world on the brink of disaster. Sure we’ve got all this hype about flu pandemics and WMDs on the news, but where’s the talk about the darkness at the edge of town? Where are the warnings to avoid cemeteries and to bar your windows? Where are the PSAs about being sure to “cut off the head or destroy the brain?”

Nowhere.

If figures.

The zombie's two favorite meals? The slow and the uneducated.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Stepping on Tokyo

When recently pressed for a more detailed bio, J-nerdcore artist Rai quoted from an essay she wrote in third grade, reading:

"It is sunny today. Granma makes yummy food. I do not have many friends, but Grandma says that people can change if they want to. I want to be Mecha Godzilla when I grow up."

The thing that preyed on my mind as I set forth in interviewing Rai was the nagging feeling that nothing I wrote could possibly be more entertaining than that particular missive. I simply couldn’t fathom that I, with my limited writing acumen, would ever be able to explain to you the thoughts and motivations of this artist in any more charming or accurate terms.

What I failed to include in this equation, however, was the unique brand of energy that Rai herself would bring to the proceedings.

The following may well provide you with the answers you seek concerning the mysterious artist, but it’s much more likely that those that are rectified will be summarily replaced by more questions. Rai Kamishiro is an enigma wrapped in a riddle tied up in a kimono and encased in that inexplicable alloy “Space Titanium.”

She is Mecha-Godzilla. Hear her roar.

---------------

As a life-long monster movie fan, I feel obligated to ask: Are you really Mecha-Godzilla? ;)

Of course I am. GYAOOOOO! You doubt the reptilian roaring of the almighty Mecha-Godzilla? Can you not hear the mecha-feet kicking down your door?

The real Rai Kamishiro.You originally hail from Kyushu, Japan but you currently live in Bellevue. What brought you to the states, and how long have you lived in Washington?

My parents moving over pretty much dictated my moving over to America. Stepping on one too many building may have something to do with it too, but I choose to believe it was military orders for THEM that got us sent over to the USA. I've been a Washington reptile for about 4-5 years now.

What drew you to nerdcore and how long have you been interested in the genre?

One of my roommates back in boarding school used to wake me up with either Bad Religion/Alkaline Trio or mc chris. I didn't know much about nerdcore then, but I still remember that “Ratz” was ingrained in my brain for a good six months. I was more rock/punk/gothloli centered until Ultraklystron suggested I do nerdcore.

You took part in the “Night of Nerdcore” gig that took place after this year’s Penny Arcade Expo at The Shark Club. Was this your first performance as a nerdcore artist?

It wasn't my first performance as a vocalist, but it was the first as in nerdcore. It was odd not having a band behind me, but I suppose I'll get used to it. I heard “Kill Dash Nine” live, and it had a lot more impact live. Seeing Karl meltdown on stage before me was a little nerve-racking, but luckily by the time I had to worry about performing “Sleeping Forest” live, I was done with the first verse.

So you’ve preformed as a vocalist before? What kind of music did you write and/or perform before turning to nerdcore?

Mostly in a cover band. Was fun, like Giant Karaoke. I wrote more rock-esque songs, although I did record a game theme song with my cousin for a tiny game her friend's brother was making. I didn't hear much of it, but 2 to 1 (with my luck, at least) is was a H-game.

You work closely with Karl “Ultraklystron” Olson. Are there any other nerdcore artists with whom you’d like to collaborate?

Heee. Lots. I heart Baddd Spellah, and I've always wished for a set of male vocal cords thanks to MC Frontalot. Nursehella's songs make me giggle in happiness, and I think the most irritating thing about having to go home early/not being allowed in the Nerdcore Night club for long was not getting to hear the Futuristic Sex Robotz live. I have a few people I'm talking to about specific collaborations, but I'm always open to the opportunity to make music with other nerd shaped peoples.

You’ve faced criticism because of the eastern (J-rap) style of your Rhyme Torrents contributions as well as the foreign language element. Were you surprised by the reaction of those who thought Rai’s music was not “nerdcore enough”?

Not really. I've dealt with cosplayers, doll owners, anime elitists, racial purebloods, gothic lolitas, and your standard all around racists. Fuck 'em. I've noticed that some nerds are the hardcore elitists they rap about being shunned by, and it's fucking ridiculous.

It's too easy for people to shrug off my music for not being nerdstuff because it's in Japanese. But that's not for them to decide, is it?

I think that a lot of nerdlings need to realize that there's more to being a nerd than computers, MMORPGs, and coding. I fail to see the logic in someone bashing me for their own failings in reading the translation, micromanaging what makes a nerd nerdy, or trying too hard to look up my frilly skirt to keep up with the words. A lot of nerd culture is about one-upping someone while putting others down, and I refuse to play with others since I'm a hikikomori.

To the average Japanese snack human, cute Jpop and Idol Seiyuu style music has to be the most socially unacceptable aspects of Japanese nerd culture, and I find nerdcore artists trying to be the equivalent of gangsta genius fucking stupid. I love hiphop, but I have to laugh at nerdlings rapping about beating down and popping caps. And leave my wigs alone too. I need them for cosplay.

What is it about Rai and her music that makes her so nerdcore?

My motherfucking figure collection. Seriously. I could sit here and list all the nerdy activities I participate in, but the debate will go on, but all arguments in nerdcore either explode or implode, and the only destruction I get paid for is stepping on Tokyo. The fact that I've made two songs and counting on my next album devoted to respectively the candy rolling level on Katamari Damacy 2 and ABJDs, made more references to Oh! Great! and Ichi the Killer than anyone cares to count shouldn't mean anything to people who don't think of me as nerdcore. If they've made up their minds in saying I'm not nerdcore because I'm Japanese, all the power to them; I've got doll clothes to sew.

Ok, I have to ask: just how big is your figure collection?

Er, lots of Bleach, lots of Tsubasa, surprising amount of Naruto, Mecha Girls, Rozen Maiden, some Berserk, and hidden Kabuki froggies, with Kaneda attempting to lord over it all. If you include the dolls, I guess I have about 1400~1600 USD worth of plastics?

Damn. That’s a lotta toys!

You have a new album in the works. Have you settled on a title?

...No... Rocket Punch maybe. I liked Air Gear enough to nab Sleeping Forest for a song title, maybe for the album? I suspect I'll think about it when it's wrapped up and I can listen to the thing all the way through.

When do you expect the album to be finished?

Hopefully sometime in October. It mostly depends on when Karl has time free, so it's hard for me to say.

Do “Sunny Sunny Sunday” and “Big Lie” (your Rhyme Torrents tracks) give a fair indication of the style of your newer work, or will we be surprised by different tones and sounds?

....I'm hoping it'll sound a lot different. “Sleeping Forest” has some serious R&B roots compared to anything else, and “Lv.1” and “Shinjuku Holocast” will be defiantly surprising. “Mechanical World” will be borderline, but “Lemon Sherbet” and “Blueberry Garden” are more poppish than the others.

What are your musical influences?

They vary from what I happen to be into; right now I heart m-flo like no other, but when I started nerdcore I leaned more towards HALCALI and Rhymster. The first rap music I actually loved was by an artist/group that made music for Konami called Des-Row. They were the awesome, and I demand you go play DDR Extreme 2 now just so you can hear DAIKENKAI (Y'know, that one song in kanji that no one can read.)

Ah! That song! ;)

Your lyrics are full of references to otaku culture. How long have you been interested in anime?

Lessee, coming home from middle school everyday, I watched this kids show centered around a samurai robot, then Ranma afterwards, so yeah, Rai was brainwashed at a young age. Not to mention watching Akira late at night when I was too young to think anything but "Hey, that guy explodeded!"

Rai is an obsessive Otaku in some of the weirdest ways; don't even get me started on my Gundam-kit style BJD dolls. Anything that you can pop the head cap off and change the eyes of has got to be cool.

I kinda get a lot of people telling me I'm not an "Otaku" because I'm female and don't look like Densha or the Akihabara denizens, but I blame it on the school girl DNA and try and bat off the Cuthuluites. (Hey, how was I supposed to know that both Taimashi AND Eko Eko Azarak were based off of Lovecraft?)

I think it all comes down to the simple fact that Cosplay owns my soul.

Do you think that your love of anime and your interest in nerdcore work well together?

I think it does. I've gotten a lot of comments that anime isn't quite nerdcore, but the fact that the sci-fi conventions are dead and rotting compared to the ani-cons we've got out here says something. Anime is a great love of mine, so at this point there's going to be more anime references than anything, but I'm edging towards rapping about my love of BJDs, cosplay culture and Bellevue (Living in downtown Bellevue has enough WTF moments to fill two CDS XD.), and stuff that I think is nerdy, but not quite anime or, depending on who you ask, isn't nerdcore.

You’ve stated before that you get paid money to play Xbox 360 games. How did you end up with such a fantastic job?

Craigslist.

Seriously.

I heart my job.

Do you expect the 360 to reign victorious at the conclusion of the next-gen console wars?

Yes. With all the titles coming out in for the holidays and planned for the next year, the Playstation will be fucking eaten by the 360. The XBOX has always had better graphics and game play than PS2, it's just been the lack of games that held it back. With titles like Dead Rising, Ninety-Nine Nights, Tenchu Senran, Phantasy Star Universe, not to mention Blue Dragon (Or the stuff I can't talk about). XBOX shall rise supreme against the false king of Sony and their UFO controllers!

Seriously guys, it's fucking awesome.

The (other) real Rai Kamishiro.The 360 has reportedly floundered in the Japanese marketplace. To what do you ascribe this lack of interest on the part of the Japanese gamers?

Timing and a vast misconception of what Japanese gamers will buy. With time it'll get there. With the mass of games coming out with the release of the PS3, I believe that a lot of them are what it'll take to persuade someone to go out and buy a 360 rather than a PS3.

What kind of nerd is Rai?

Orange flavored with a side of soufflé. I'm a Dolly obsessing manga collecting huge boots wearing Agito coat flailing, rollerblading, torrent mongering, sleep deprived resin lusting 2-D conning Baby the Stars shine Mutha loving BRIGHT obsessive ota-stinking gingerbread shaped invisible man.

In closing, could you briefly summarize what fans of nerdcore need to know about Rai?

Mecha Godzilla for the win!
Eat your cookies children!
Music = LoveXPeace

---------------

We nerds are a beautifully diverse tribe. Such is our greatest strength. At the same time, it often proves to be our undoing. The important thing to remember, however, is that way you geek out – whether it be with comics, video games, anime, stamp collecting, model cars, baseball, motor scooters, modernist literature, or bottle caps – is secondary to the simple fact that you geek out. Sometimes, one among our number may get her geek on in a new and exciting manner, in a way different from both those who came before and most who will follow. I feel Rai is an excellent example of this.

Rai is certainly the least “established” of the nerd musicians I’ve had the pleasure to talk to. And yet, by the same token, she espouses the same spirit, the same level of self-awareness and self-acceptance, the same blissful eccentricity. Okay, probably more eccentricity, but you get the idea.

J-nerdcore isn’t even a genre as such; it is more a mechanism to describe the manner in which a particular artist combines her enjoyment of music with her love of a culture. But the name is unimportant. The label insignificant. The style secondary. It’s the heart of the geek experience, that boundless energy and ceaseless devotion to whatever it is that really drives you, that makes the nerd. And Rai has nerd energy to spare.