Download Radio Free Hipster Ep. 13: The Best Chrismukkah Pageant Ever

Chrismukkah means different things to different people. For more traditional Jewish families turned off by what can be viewed as an over-commercialization of the season, it’s a knock at a modern Hanukkah that ignores the true roots of the celebration. To families with both Jewish and Christian backgrounds it’s a happy medium between two major, competing holidays. And for me and my decidedly secular group of friends (with our myriad of cultural backgrounds) it’s merely a reason to get drunk on eggnog and eat chocolate coins for as many nights as humanly possible.

This final episode of 2006 comes to you as a cockeyed look at the holidays, as well as a celebration of people who are more concerned with enjoying some time off from work and the company of the ones we love than in taking some stand concerning what to call the titular holiday season. In truth, I don’t care what you celebrate, or even if you celebrate; I just want you to have a nice time.

I would’ve loved to have integrated some Kwanzaa songs into this podcast as well, but even those I know who celebrate Kwanzaa couldn’t direct me to any nerdy/funny songs about the festival. And winter solstice? Are there any solstice songs at all? If so, please feel free to enlighten me.

Call me politically correct if you like. Call me apathetic; it don’t bother me. Feel free to tell me “Happy Hanukkah” or “Happy Kwanzaa” or “Happy Holidays” or “Merry Christmas.” Hell, feel free to substitute the Greek “X” and call it X-mas. It’s cool with me. Getting offended about such things is highly overrated in my opinion.

In what is, in each of these opposing cultural realms, considered to be the time of year when we reach out to our fellow man in the spirit of giving, it appears as though we’ve gotten a little too concerned with making sure our team is represented in the proceedings or (even worse) that other teams aren’t. That’s kinda shitty, doncha you think?

In summation: if you expect this podcast to carefully respect the precepts of ancient religious celebrations or to examine their complex and often opposing relationships, prepare to be disappointed. If, however, you’d like to hear some funny, funky songs about the holidays, the download link is below.

Download Radio Free Hipster Ep. 13: The Best Chrismukkah Pageant Ever Size: 40.1 MB Running Time: 43.51

Show Notes

Intro: AM Radio Medley / mash-ups.co.uk - “Rudolph Loves to Boogie”

I’ve been sitting on this track for ages, just waiting to play it. This seemed like as good an opportunity as ever!

Z’s 1^st interlude: “Sad and self-referential”

What can I say? I am just cheesy enough to reference my own material.

Track 1: Clark Griswold rant / Spinal Tap - “Christmas with the Devil”

Radio Free Hipster needs more Spinal Tap. Do I smell a New Year’s resolution?

Track 2: Eric Cartman - “Oh Holy Night”

“Jesus was born and so I get presents.”

Track 3: Go Home Productions - “Carpenters Christmas”

From the very excellent Santastic II: Clausome compilation.

Track 4: Another Clark Griswold rant / dj BC - “Hanukkah Song (Goyimix)” / Smooth E - “Hanukkah Hey Ya!”

I put a moratorium on “The Hanukkah Song” a number of years ago, but this version was too good to pass up.

Track 5: DJ John – “The Christmas Massacre of Charlie Brown”

Check out John's non-holiday mash-ups for more good shit. But beware; he does nasty things to Daft Punk.

Track 6: Former Fat Boys – “Where Are You Christmas”

Check out the video for FFB’s other holiday single “I Want It (Gimme Gimme)((Toys)).”

Z’s 2^nd interlude: “Dreidl-Bells”

Both Santastic: Holiday Boots for Your Stocking and Santastic II: Clausome are filled with bootleg-y goodness.

Track 7: Meter vs. Yard - “How George Bush Stole Christmas”

High-C heard my complaint about the lack of holiday-themed nerdcore and hit me up with this. You really need to hear the whole thing to get the full effect.

Track 8: The Kinks – “Father Christmas” / OK Go – “Father Christmas”

The Kinks aren’t really nerdy, so their inclusion was a gift to myself. OK Go, on the other hand, seem to have some legitimate nerd chops.

Track 9: Voicedude – “Santa Benz”

My mother pointed out that a sped-up Janis Joplin sounds a lot like Rod Stewart. Creepy, eh?

Track 10: Sarah Silverman - “Give the Jew Girl Toys”

This song has much less punch when I sing it. I don’t know why.

Track 11: Bob & Doug McKenzie - “12 Days of Christmas”

I only included the intro to this track due both to time constraints and an overwhelming urge not to lose my two Canadian listeners.

Track 12: Divide and Kreate - “Jingle Jane”

I think the reason I felt comfortable making subtle nods to previous episodes is that I find it hard to believe that some people have actually listened to all my previous podcasts.

Z’s final interlude: “Good will toward men”
I also have trouble believing I’m still milking that “nerd news and interviews and …” thing.

Track 13: The Pogues – “Fairytale of New York”
Shane MacGowan is truly one of the ugliest creatures I have ever seen. Thankfully, this doesn’t preclude him from being one of the most brilliantly lyrical beasts the rock ‘n’ roll world has ever birthed.

And there you have it, folks. Consider it a little card from your old pal Z. in the form of an uneven musical montage. I hope it finds you safe and in the best of spirits. Feel free to pump these jams at your next seasonal shindig, and let me know the jewels I managed to miss. Happy Holidays!

For the nerd who has everything

I have just been alerted that mc chris has reduced the price of much of his merchandise for the holiday season.

From the mouth o’ the horse:

"holy crap did i cut prices! before i hand over my merch to new folks i'm gonna pass the buck to YOU! the consumer! because i can. muahahah! SO CHECK OUT THESE BANGING NEW PRICES!!!

TSHIRTS ARE HOLY CRAP!!! FIVE DOLLARS!!! (scandal!)

HOODIES ARE WHAT THE CRUD!!! FIFTEEN DOLLARS!!! (that's impossible)

BAGS YEAH MAHFAH WE GOT BAGS!!! ARE THREE FRIGGIN CLAMS!!! (unheard of)

STICKERS ARE ONLY A BUCK!!! NOW THAT'S SOME CRAZY SHIT RIGHT THERE!!! (no one does that)

the proceeds from this sale will go towards heat and marvel ultimate alliance. peace. mc

GO TO MCCHRIS.COM TO PIMP YOUR BODY RIDE.

STORE: http://www.indiemerchstore.com/mcchris"

Why not pick up something for your friends, enemies, acquaintances, and that chick at the record store you’re always eying.

But what if they don’t like mc chris?

Fuck it; give it to ‘em anyway. mc swag is a whole lot better then the shit I got when I was a kid.

An honor just to be nominated

By now I’ve no doubt you’ve heard that I am the TIME Magazine Person of the Year.

Okay, not just me… all of us really. I mean, TIME, that bastion of the old school ink and paper aesthetic, has elected to acknowledge the ground-breaking work that’s being done by those of us on the ground floor. Rather than confer this auspicious title upon some ultimately corrupt and self-serving political figure or some mindless corporate Svengali, TIME has instead bestowed the honor upon all who generate user content on this, the cusp of the digital age.

You can call it Web 2.0 or you can call it the computer/cultural revolution, but at the end of the day it’s just a bunch of people doing what they’ve always done. True, I may not’ve always written about nerd music and culture in a public forum such as this, but I’ve always written and it’s always been nerdy. Whether a song about the Super Friends or the back-story for a D&D campaign, I’ve been a nerd writer since I became a nerd who could write. I imagine the same goes for the rest of you. All you other bloggers and podcasters, all you YouTubers and MySpacers, all y’all who rhyme about Buffy the Vampire Slayer, bend circuits, or bust chiptunes: just like me, you’re just being yourself and doing your thing.

So does that mean that a major media outlet is acknowledging the hard (and generally thankless) work that we content monkeys crank out due to our own insatiable need to produce and our nigh-limitless free time? Probably not. More than likely it’s just a ploy to sell magazines, because that’s what TIME magazines does. It’s what they’ve always done.

So we’re back to square one; God is in his heaven and all is right with the world. We’re all doing what we’ve always done, and that, for me, is enough. Sure the world on its ear as pandemonium beats down the door, but that too is a constant. Same as it ever was.

There’s simply something within the human condition that causes people to create, whether it be for the global audience or simply for their own satisfaction. The WWW changes the rules, certainly, but the game is still the same. We can only hope that the Web itself will finally help to level the playing field and assure that those who are the most creative, the most noble, the most diligent, the most deserving, will finally get the gold rather than simply those who are the most connected.

Could such a thing really happen?

Hey, strange and wonderful things happen all the time.

For example, you are currently reading the words of a tiny man in a remote location via a technological marvel that our grandparents could scarcely have imagined.

The world’s funny that way.

At the end of the day, what TIME has said is at once both no big deal and an amazing revelation. Hopefully it reflects a shift in modern thinking that makes it more congruent with our modern age. Possibly it marks a turning point where we as a people can wrest power from the conglomerations that control what we see and hear and think and put that power in the hands of those with a more altruistic slant, those with a more in-depth understanding of the ramifications of this exceedingly technical world.

Of course I’m talking about the nerds.

But let's talk baby steps; with any luck, this time next year people like MC Frontalot and Dan Lamoureux will reap the rewards of a world where the D.I.Y. ethic has finally gained some clout.

Sure, it’s a pipe dream, but it’s my dream and you can share it if you like.

If, however, the new year brings with it the same foibles as the old year, I don’t reckon we’ll be too surprised.

And I suppose we’ll keep doing what we’re doing.

After all, it’s what we’ve always done.

In a box

I know it's still almost a week until Christmas and Hanukkah is just barely underway, but I got you guys something. I’m gonna go ahead and give it to you ‘cause we’re cool like that. I hope you like it. I wrapped it myself:

The final frontier

I checked my mail this morning – which is, consequently, the right thing to do – to find two separate Trek-related tidbits.

The first concerns a nerdcore track about Trekkie pride, but, as I was only afforded a preview of the forthcoming goodness, I will stop short of sharing the details. Suffice it to say that this track is as fine as (blood) wine.

The second is another piece of YouTubey goodness by friend of Hipster, please! and all-around alpha nerd ChurchHatesTucker: a tribute of sorts to the continuing Star Trek fan project known as Starship Exeter. Check out Church’s veritable love letter to Mego, the crew of the USS Exeter, and the Trek universe itself. And if you think the voiceover sounds a bit familiar, you earn +1 to your observation skill.