Because of this we don’t see eye-to-eye on some things. I, for example, like to watch Doctor Who. She, on the other hand, prefers The Girls Next Door. (How that show can make naked women so interminably boring is both a mystery and an affront to God!) I listen to NESkimos while she prefers Nelly Furtado. I say tomato and she… well, she also says tomato, but I reckon you get the idea.
When she told me last week that the girls from work were throwing her a baby shower in anticipation of our new arrival, I was ecstatic; my love for free shit knows no bounds. But when we began adding items to our baby registry/wish list, our differences again became apparent.
What follows is my own personal list of nerdy baby shower presents. Each was summarily vetoed by my old lady, but maybe yours will be a bit more reasonable.
Here’s hoping you have better luck geeking your children up than I did!
The D&D character sheet onesie:
Sometimes you just need to know your kid’s stats. Like, maybe your baby wants to make an untrained skill check; how the hell else are you gonna know her ability modifier? I think I’ve proven my point.
Available at Jinx.
Reading to your children is fun and rewarding, so why not start them early on the road to an appreciation of classic geek lit? It's been proven to supplement cognitive development, and you’re never too young to be warned about the power of the Elder Sign.
Available at Amazon
There’s been a big push of late to get girls interested in science, and there’s no better way to get your daughter hipped to the wonders of the natural world than by giving her a white blood cell plushie. Will it protect her from super-sized pathogens? It certainly couldn’t hurt!
Available at Giant Microbes
Rockabye Baby! lullaby albums:
Child-friendly covers of U2, Bob Marley, and The Ramones may not be nerdy, but they certainly are fun for the whole family. Lullaby renditions of Björk, though, are probably still pitchy and annoying.
Available at Rockabye Baby Music
Diaper bag alternative:
Those goddamn Juicy Couture diaper bags are horrible and unflattering, and I don’t just mean on the shoulders of unwitting fathers. They’re garish and quasi-functional at best. I much prefer the utilitarian messenger bag, of which this Bag of Holding is a perfect example. You won’t believe how much stuff you can get in there!
Available at ThinkGeek
Nothing says “this is my kid and I’ll dress her how I damn well please” quite like this bib. It’s especially relevant if one or more parents is a chemist. As well as those of us who aren’t above a little intellectual intimidation among the play group.
Available at Career Giggles
Baby Bot mobile:
Are you as sick or butterflies and jungle animals as I am? Then why not shake things up with a robot themed nursery! This robot-themed mobile is an excellent jumping-off point.
Available at Baby-Wise