Seen hobnobbing

As both of my regular readers should know, this past weekend marked the inaugural show of MC Frontalot’s Nerdcore Rising tour in my native Spartanburg. The crowd was an odd mix of the punker kids there to see the openers and the nerd element of the Frontalot camp. Despite the uneasy truce between these two factions, Front and his cohorts had no trouble rocking the house to a level as yet unheard-of in civilized society. Even the skeptical hardcore aficionados were awe-struck by the by drumming prowess of Sturgenius, Blak Lotus’s funktastic bass stylings, and the grandeur that is the Gm7. You could see them, slightly doubled at the waist so as to avoid unnecessary attention, drawing ever closer to the stage to see the fellows do their thing.

Front, of course, bought his “A game” and dropped the lyrics not so much as if they were hot, but in a similar manner that one might drop an object he hurriedly picked up only to discover there was doodoo on it.

The set list was a mixture of old favorites and new jams. Crime Spree was preformed with much fervor, Simpsons samples in tact, and Special Delivery was succinctly delivered with all the passion expected of a heated protest song set to driving bass. Several exclusive tracks off Front’s Nerdcore Rising album reared their knobby heads. New jams Charity Case (hear it for free!) and Goth Girls delighted the nerdiest of those in attendance, while Song Fight! winners Floating Bridge and Yellow Lasers reminded us all why we showed up in the first place.

Nerdcore let itself be truly known as Front tossed Magic: The Gathering cards into the crowd before beginning Hassle: The Dorkening; even more nerd-worthy was Front reliance on a twenty-sided die to determine part of the set list -- a role of 7 or greater would mean Braggadocio while anything less would mean Which MC Was That?. Of course, Front easily made the throw (even without the addition of his +2 to rock modifier).

Front was outrageously cordial to all who approached him, including yours truly. As the capo of Front’s Spartanburg street team, I was more than a little disappointed by the attendance, but Frontalot assured me that the crowd was fine and thanked me graciously for the time and money I’d invested in making and spreading flyers. To that end he treated me (and my cohort Jeremy) to a free tour shirt in addition to the certificate of awesomeness mentioned on his site.

As if that weren’t enough, Frontalot even closed down the merch table early so he could answer a few questions for Hipster, Please! The ensuing interview is currently being transcribed and should be posted later this week.

After the experience, I humbly recommend that you make every effort to attend the nearest Nerdcore Rising club date. The show is phenomenal, and Frontalot himself is a delight to talk to. He makes no secret of just how much he appreciates all the nerdgirls and boys who come out to show support, and he rewards them well with a fine set and modestly priced merchandise.

Hey, if you are planning to check out Front in your hometown, why not sign on for the street team? You’ll be doing a great service for the nerdcore community and you’ll get a snazzy certificate suitable for framing. The street team is an important means by which you the fan can, to take a leaf from Frontalot’s book (not to mention the title track from his new disk and the stand-out from his Friday night set list), do your part to help nerdcore rise up.

Shit, he’ll even do an interview for your lame-ass blog if you ask nice!

Concerning E3

Today marks the beginning of what is akin to a holy week in the nerd community. The week of the Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3) is like Ramadan for gamers: You can call is Ramadork or maybe Ramendan, but I digress.

E3 is, for those few of you who are, as yet, uninitiated, the most celebrated domestic video game conference in existence. The trade show is (on paper) strictly for game industry professionals and journalists, but each year it seems more and more about the fans and celebrities who find a way to skeeze entrance into the hallowed halls of the LA Convention Center.

There is a plethora of coverage of said event, which belies its industry focus. As usual, IGN promises a crush of E3 related links, feeds, and features, as does television network G4 with their E3 Insider site. Likewise, several smaller sites offer up their own unique brand of E3 news and views. CheapyD (over at CAG) assures us a post-E3 wrap-up CAGcast, and he’s even set up an E3 moblog/picture gallery for attending CAGs. RawmeatCowboy and his team from GoNintendo, all aflutter concerning their first invite to the event, pledge to keep fans of the big N abreast of all important developments concerning Iwata and company.

The big stories this year, as with every year in recent memory, concern Sony, Microsoft, and Nintendo, and their offerings for the foreseeable future. The big questions: Will the Playstation3 be playable? Will the Xbox 360 offer up any truly next-gen goodness? Is Nintendo serious about that fuckin’ “Wii” thing?

For me, though, it comes down to one question: When will North America see the release of the DS Lite in additional colors? Last week Nintendo let us know that the Lite will drop on June 11th at a price of 130 bones, but only in Crystal White. When can I expect to see that handsome Enamel Navy model here in the States?

Sure, it’s a bit sad that I’m wishing away all the earth-shattering game news afforded by the event for a simple matter of color, but what can I say? I’m a slave to aesthetics!

Lack of updates Update

There has been a recent dearth of updates to this blog for two principle reason:

Reason, the 1st: It is final exam season and English Lit I is currently having its way with my GPA.

Reason, the 2nd: I offered to do some work on MC Frontalot’s street team for the inaugural gig of his Nerdcore Rising tour in my native Spartanburg, SC, and thus I’ve been sending a lot of time gathering supplies and printing flyers.

More news from the Frontalot camp

I know all you good boys and girls have already signed up for Frontalot's mailing list, but what about the bad boys and girls? I say repent and sign the fuck up. In the meantime, here’s a modest proposal for fans in the NYC area (that doesn’t involve eating Irish babies).

Front writes:

I'm doing a fan meet & greet at Forbidden Planet comics in NYC (Broadway &13th). Everyone who shows up can put one word on a list and then on the busride home I will write a rap that has all the words in it. Then I will makea recording of it. So if someone has always wanted to have his or herfavorite word in a MC Frontalot song, he or she should come to the comicstore at the appointed time.

Also, the person who puts in the best word (judge of best word: me) gets asigned Penny Arcade Expo 2005 DVD. I'll have shirts and CDs too.

Monday, May 1st
8-9PM
MC Frontalot chats you up and signs things
Forbidden Planet
840 Broadway (at 13th)
New York, NY
(FREE of course)

Taking the Wii (another non-music related venture)

Okay, anyone who read this blog before the changeover knows that I am a die-hard Nintendo fanboy. That being said, the news (straight from the horse's mouth) that the forthcoming Nintendo Revolution console is to be released under the name Nintendo Wii strikes me as interminably odd. I understand the reasoning, at least from the PR slant, but you gotta admit: having a console that’s name sounds like a euphemism for taking a piss is a weird step.

Of course, this isn’t the first time Nintendo has thrown us a curve. The DS, when initially offered up, seemed like a ridiculous idea, but damned if they haven’t turned that two-screened monster into a gaming juggernaut. Even the Revolution… er, Wii controller(which looks like a television remote control, in case you’ve been living under a rock since before E3 05) seemed outlandish to many until developers began to praise the innovation inherent in it’s simple yet groundbreaking design.

The bottom line, for me at least, is that the name sounds silly, the controller looks bizarre, and the machine admittedly lacks the horsepower of the competition’s next-gen offerings, but I still see myself picking one up. Games make a system and Nintendo continually puts out the kinds of games I yearn to play. I’m excited about the prospect of the kind of motion sensitive interface that this new system sports and can’t wait to see what in-house and 3rd party offerings emerge.

If it comes down to it, I’ll take a Wii.

You heard me.

A noble diversion

Shit, two days of relevant posts have me itching for distraction. How 8-bit are you?

I am 8-bit. I got 16/16 on the 8-Bit Gamer test. Take the test!

Coming to your cit-tay

The weather’s warming up, the pollen count is through the roof, and the ladies are breaking out their fair-weather skivvies. That can only mean one thing: The summer concert season can’t be far behind. Some artists have elected to get their tour on a little early this year. Never content to rest on their laurels, both MC Frontalot and mc chris may be coming to a city near you! Ain’t that some shit?

MC FRONTALOT ~ The Nerdcore Rising Tour 2006

May 12th Spartanburg, SC Ground Zero ~ map with Emotron
May 13th Mt. Pleasant, SC The Village Tavern ~ map tickets online
May 14th Chapel Hill, NC Local 506 ~ map tickets online
May 16th Johnson City, TN The Hideaway ~ map
May 18th West Columbia, SC The New Brookland Tavern ~ map
May 19th Atlanta, GA the Drunken Unicorn ~ map tickets online
May 20th Tallahasee, FL The Beta Bar ~ map
May 22nd Baton Rouge, LA The Spanish Moon ~ map tickets online
May 23rd New Orleans, LA Republic ~ maptickets online
May 24th Houston, TX The Proletariat Club ~ map
May 25th Ft. Worth, TX The Aardvark ~ map
May 26th St. Louis, MO Creepy Crawl ~ map (advance sales via paypal on club's page, under "upcoming")
May 27th Lawrence, KS The Jackpot Saloon ~ map
May 28th Minneapolis, MN The Triple Rock Social Club ~ map
May 31st Kalamazoo, MI The Club Soda ~ map

mc chris ~ Revenge of the Nerd Tour 2006

Friday, May 12 Avalon (aka Limelight) NYC With MSI more info
Friday, May 19 The Underground Hartford, CT all ages more info
Thursday, May 25 The Temple Club Lansing, MI more info
Friday, May 26 Vamps Toledo, OH
Saturday, May 27 The House Cafe Dekalb, IL all ages more info
Monday, May 29 Hifi Cleveland, OH
Friday, June 02 The Nanci Ray Gun Richmond, VA 18+ more info
Saturday, June 10 Harpers Ferry Boston, MA 18+ more info
Sunday, June 18 Mr. Smalls Pittsburg, PA 18+ more info

A geek manifesto

I have spent a staggering chunk of my life composing via the tried and true 5-paragraph essay style. As such, I generally apply this same rubric to other areas of my life. Does my argument hold water? Are my ideas clear and concise? Is my thesis, the crux of my project, narrow enough to focus only on what’s important?

It’s that last question that gets me.

When I first started Hipster, please! my mission was broad: It was “one man’s view of fashion, tech, music, and all things geek chic.” In that lay the problem. I had spread myself too thin. Sure the focus was on music I found interesting, the items I was spending my free time and disposable income on, the tech news that caught my eye, but what did that amount to?

Thesis too nebulous – consider revision.

At the same time I was coming to grips with the ineffectiveness of my blog, I was also becoming aware of a disturbing trend. It wasn’t that the kind of music that spoke to me, that spoke for me, wasn’t getting the kind of respect it deserved. It was, in fact growing in popularity through the kinds of grassroots means that legitimize independent music. The problem was that fans of The Minibosses were unaware of MC Lars. Fans of mc chris had never heard of virt. 8-bit aficionados were unaware of NESkimos. It wasn’t that music for nerds by nerds wasn’t catching on, but that there was a rift between the sub-genres… or would that be sub-sub-genres?

Sure, there are folks who still think hip hop is all about guns and hos who have never heard nerdcore, and this site’s for them too. But mostly this site is for people who enjoy the nerdcore (or 8-bit or geek rock or game music) scene, but don’t quite know where to go from there. The truth is there is a wealth of talented, motivated artists out there making music about the kind of shit that got you beat up in high school, and doing it well. Whether you’re a gamer, a lit nerd, a comic book guy, an old school table-top RPGer, a computer science major, or a sci-fi/fantasy/horror buff, there are some great tunes out there that should be nestled snuggly in your iPod.

So, in one regard this site is about keeping those fanboy dreams alive, about celebrating your inner poindexter. Yet on the other hand, it’s also about smashing those same stereotypes. For every acne-faced cellar dweller yelling at his mom to make him a pb&j while he and the guys play through another death match, there is a well-adjusted, well kempt, happily married, and broadly attractive nerd boy (or nerd girl) living a very un-dorky life.

In my opinion, the nerd lifestyle revels in a powerful self-awareness. The very core of nerd-dom (or, geekery, if you will) is not dependant upon IQ, hobby, or hygiene, but an unyielding sense of self. It is that self that leads me to celebrate my geek brethren. That, in a nutshell, explains this blog’s new focus.

Hipster, please! is a specialty entertainment blog dedicated to nerd music and culture.

Notice I said nerd music and culture. The order of those words is of particular importance. The focus, at least on paper, will be on the music. As such, I’m currently pursuing several avenues for potential interviews and features with artists that sport a uniquely nerd-centric slant. But don’t forget about the culture. This leaves me enough wiggle room to drop in a little bit of tech news, game related info, comic trivia, or other such distraction when the music well runs a bit dry o when I really want to get some shit off my chest. I’ll make a valiant effort to keep the focus on music, and to clearly label all unrelated entries, but I make no promises. I am but a mortal man, chock full of foibles and eccentricities that may render me unable to distinguish between what is relevant to the reading public and what’s just cool to me.

And with that begins this new journey. If you were a regular reader of the old blog, I hope you hang around. If you’re a n00b, I hope you found what you were looking for. And if you found your way here because I used the word “shellfish” in my keyword meta-tag, I’d just like to say that I thoroughly enjoy clams, crab, and lobster.

Now, ready? Get set. Get your geek on!

Excuse the mess

The recent “other project” that I spoke of has just become this project. You will be noticing some changes here at HP, and I hope you find them to your liking. Expect an elaborate explanation of the blog’s new slant in the near future, and, in the meantime, enjoy the random cosmetic changes that I’m making daily!

Mid-Week MP3

This week’s Mid-Week MP3 is especially close to my heart. It is, after all, my first attempt at a mash-up. I understand that Beastie Boys mashes are sort of the lowest common denominator, but the band was kind enough to furnish fans with easy access to acapella versions of so much of their catalogue that it seemed silly for me not to take advantage of such bounty.

While not as polished as many of the recent mash-up tracks I’ve featured, I hope you’ll at least give it a try. I’m actually fairly proud of it. Oh, and two little tidbits of info:

1) While editing the artist tag on this track I sarcastically typed in “Kid Charlemagne,” which is, of course, a reference to Hal’s pirate radio persona on the FOX sitcom Malcolm in the Middle. I liked it so much that it stuck.

2) The odd spoken-word sample that drops in after the 3 minute mark was taken from Cheap Ass Gamer's CAGcast 23. It’s a little riff that co-host Wombat let’s fly concerning his disdain for the Kingdom Hearts video game series.

Kid Charlemagne – Lust for Now

Mid-Week MP3

I took a week off to work on another project (which I’ll speak of later), but now I’m back with another Mid-Week MP3. This week’s offering is snaked directly from Tim’s Radio Clash podcast from last week. It’s a mash-up from Team9 featuring Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy” and Prince’s “Sign o' the Times.” This one goes out to my boy Cromer, whose affinity for the purple one knows no bounds. I hope y’all dig it too.

Team9 – Crazy Times

Mid-Week MP3

How about we show some more geek love for Jake Kaufman?

This week we have virt doing what he does best: making music restricted only by the blips of the vintage Gameboy and his own boundless imagination. This one is a cover of Mark "Sisqó" Andrews’s "Thong Song." I’ll let this one speak for itself.

virt -- Thong Song (Gameboy Mix)

Shit I already knew...

Mid-Week MP3

Jake Kaufman is the kind of musician we could all learn a thing or two from: he is a multitalented artist who works in a large variety of styles and genres, and he sports an unwavering dedication to his craft. His chosen profession is video game music composer, and his résumé is particularly fascinating to those who, like me, have an affinity for handheld gaming.

Jake, better known as virt, also believes in the age-old concept of something for nothing. He has an amazing variety of tracks for free download from his site. While his self-crunched MIDI works are things of beauty, I found myself particularly drawn to his arrangements of classic gaming soundtracks. This week’s Mid-Week MP3 is a chamber music take on the iconic sounds of one of my favorite 8-bit titles: Castlevania II. Enjoy.

virt – What a Horrible Night

Mid-Week MP3

Okay, so I’m not entirely sure who Rx is, but it appears he (or she) remixes audio files of US politicians and couples the “lyrics” with dance beats. The results are awe-inspiring.

Tim over at Radio Clash played a bit from Rx’s “Dick is a Killer” on his show last week, and I have since become totally enamored by the track. It’s full of crude humor, profanity, and is, at the most basic level, an attack against the current administration. In other words: it may be the best goddamn song ever!

Rx – Dick is a Killer

Mid-Week MP3

Not content to let a good thing die, this week’s Mid-Week MP3 is another from that mad bastard Mark Vidler of GoHomeProductions. This one blends TLC’s angsty anthem Unpretty with The Specials' seminal classic A Message to You, Rudy.

The result is soul-shaking as it blends the drama of the former with the pop sensibility of the latter. It’ll make you dance!

GHP -- Pretty Rudy

Mid-Week MP3

This week’s Mid-Week MP3 is yet another mash-up. (Could be I’m going for a theme here.)

This one takes Echo and the Bunnymen’s Killing Moon and unceremoniously weds it with Abba. I’m not sure why anyone would want to do that, but GoHomeProductions’s Mark Vidler did. It’s the kind of track that will have you bobbing your head and feeling really bad about it the entire time.

Check out Mark’s site for more bootleg goodness. Also, look for his track Rapture Riders on Capitol’s “Blondie Greatest Hits Sound & Vision” due out next month here in the states.

GHP -- Abba and the Bunnymen

Mid-Week MP3

As much as I abhor repeats, this week I’m gonna do one. Upon further reflection on Party Ben’s catalogue I found a song that is equally as good, if not better, than last week’s offering.

This mash-up blends the raucous ragtime of The White Stripes with the smooth beats of Eric B. & Rakim. It’s good. Damn good.

Now download it and then go directly to Ben’s site to check out his other offerings. I ain’t got time to spoon-feed you all his shit! ;)

Party Ben -- Pump Up the Doorbell

What kind of Pocky are you?

what flavor pocky are you?

[c] sugardew

Truthfully, I'd rather be Pretz!

Mid-Week MP3

Perhaps a mash-up of Destiny’s Child and Fugazi seems a bit sacrilegious, a bit heretical. Well, that’s only because it is. Fortunately for us Party Ben, formally of the San Fran’s “The Sixx Mixx” fame, busts it out real good.

While I’m not going to put Ben dead at the top of my list of favorite djs this track really does showcase the power and passion of a mad genius at work. Who else would’ve heard “Independent Women Pt. 1” and thought it’d sound better over “Waiting Room?”

Party Ben – Independent Room

Farewell Black Table!

As of last Friday, seminal NY crap culture online mag The Black Table has closed its virtual doors. Having written several weekly reviews for their Black List and one legitimate piece for BT, I can honestly say I hate to see it go. In a veritable sea of mindless webjunk, it was one of only a handful of destinations that I could depend on to enlighten and amuse without fail. From Eric Gillin’s journalistic imploration to clean your bathroom to Laura Lang’s warts-and-all look at the life of the functional addict, The Black Table offered something that few other sites do – a damn-near rule free environment in which to be creative and cozy up to your inner journalist. To Will Leitch and company I just have to say good show, and thanks for all the fun. The Black Table will be missed.

Ain’t that some shit?!

After months of speculation and hearsay Nintendo has announced the redesign of the Nintendo DS. It’s slimmer, it’s sleeker, it’s… Ipod-ey?

Screw it, here’s a pic:

Mid-Week MP3

Now that I have fully recovered from my New Year’s hangover, grappled with a double-dose of winter illness, and danced the two-step with my own mortality, we shall jump right back in to your regularly scheduled Mid-Week MP3.

The first track of ’06 is a delightful little mash-up of Queen and 50 Cent. It was one of my faves from the year-end party circuit, and I’m sure you’ll dig it as well. This one is brought to you by The Silence Xperiment and, obviously, the letter Q.

And remember, kids, support you local DJ.

Q-Unit – Under Pressure All the Time

Mid-Week MP3

Often lost among the glut of garage rock bands to hit the scene in the early 2000s, Randy Fitzsimmons, The Hives hit in the US with breakthrough album Veni Vidi Vicious, from whence this track hails.

A beautiful mixture of style, sass, and sarcasm, The Hives follow-ups never achieved as much success in the states, but are certainly notable for the evolution of the band’s sound to a more mischievous, mechanical level. Most Hives singles, stateside releases, and imports are still available. Buy one, damnit!

The Hives Declare Guerre Nucleaire

KK Slider is like the Dead... except his music doesn't suck.

Does Animal Crossing Wild World promote music piracy? I’d like to think so… It's funny how big this story has gotten. Is this some clandestine move to free our young charges from the bounds of the mega-corporate music machine? A clever marketing ploy on the part of Nintendo? Much ado about nothing? Who knows!

Mid-Week MP3 (Yuletide Edition)

I know you told me not to, but I got you a present. Seriously, go ahead and open it! If it's not your size I totally kept the receipt.

Mid-Week MP3

This week's Mid-Week MP3 comes courtesy of a self-revelation.

It’s recently come to my attention that I am an old man. One of the odd ways in which this age manifests itself is through the shifting of both principles and ideas. (And before anyone asks; no, 1mod ain’t voting Republican!) For a number of years I have been aware that the old “never sell out” punk rock ethic is, for lack of a better word, shit. Therefore, when a band, or a book, or a painter, or a… I dunno… style that I hold dear becomes popular, lucrative, or en vogue I no longer take it as a personal attack against those of us who were with it back in the day. That’s just the way culture pops, I suppose, and I’m not gonna slight anyone for taking advantage of it.

This also applies to hearing some of my favorite bands’ music in television commercials. While Iggy Pop’s Lust for Life seems a bit out of place in a Carnival Cruise Line commercial, I’m sure Iggy could use the scratch. And while hearing the Buzzcocks wailing over images of the Toyota Rav 4 seems odd, that commercial was actually pretty sweet. And thus, when I heard the new Levis spot featuring those mad lads from London I couldn’t help but get a little misty. I mean, who would’ve ever thought that you’d hear Madness during primetime here in the States?

1modernboy humbly requests that you use these MP3s solely as a means of evaluation. If you like what you hear, please buy records, CDs, t-shirts, or other merchandise to support this band/artist and his/her/their label-mates. Seeing them live probably wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
Should the features artist, or the related label or distributor take issue with my inclusion of the song file, please don’t hesitate to contact me, so that the offending file can be removed.

Madness-- It Must Be Love

Mid-Week MP3

This week's Mid-Week MP3 is from my pick for best album of 2005 (see below).

Bloc Party were signed thanks to forunate contact with Franz Ferdinand frontman Alex Kapranos and DJ Steve Lamacq, and their 2005 release Silent Alarm, while not quite the smash here in the states as it was in the UK, has garnered praise from all circles. It just goes to show that an album can be both critically praised and have legitimate artistic merit.

The band itself blends art rock with indie rock for an intoxicating blend of fuzz, whine, and rump shakin'. That being said, let’s all put on tiny t-shirts and gyrate rhythmically to the crash and wale of Like Eating Glass.

1modernboy humbly requests that you use these MP3s solely as a means of evaluation. If you like what you hear, please buy records, CDs, t-shirts, or other merchandise to support this band/artist and his/her/their label-mates. Seeing them live probably wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
Should the features artist, or the related label or distributor take issue with my inclusion of the song file, please don’t hesitate to contact me, so that the offending file can be removed.

Bloc Party – Like Eating Glass

1mod's Best of '05

Now that we’re safely within the chilly confines of December it is again time for that most fastidious flurry of finicky funkiness that is my picks of the year’s greatest. So, without further ado, I present The Best of ’05.

Album of the Year: Bloc Party – Silent Alarm
Generally, I don’t buy a lot of new records in your average year. I prefer to get my music the old fashioned way – by bumming CDs off my friends and ripping those bastards to my PC. This year, one album I went out of my way to purchase was Silent Alarm by Bloc Party. Why? Because this album is both lyrically sound and musically layered without sounding overly complex or artsy. And I like dance rock. And Kele Okereke looks like Buckwheat and sounds like Colin Hay with a lung full o’ helium.

Song/Single of the Year: Tegan and Sara – Speak Slow
Let me sum up: identical twin lesbian Canadians that rock like they ought to… And though their early solo-era Joan Jett haircuts and tendency toward folkyness initially put me off, Speak Slow was sufficient to kill Reverend Run’s Mind on the Road as my pick for Song of the Year. Ain’t that some shit?

Movie of the Year: The 40 Year-Old Virgin
There may have been films that I saw this year that I liked more than Steve Carell’s The 40 Year-Old Virgin while I was watching them, but none really followed me home from the theatre with as much charm and fervor. I still find myself mentioning bags of sand and the ubiquitous “Boner Jams ‘03” nigh daily!

TV Show of the Year: The Boondocks
As much as I love NBC’s take on The Office and the cockeyed behemoth that is Lost, as well as new fall season darling How I Met Your Mother (also known as that show with Willow from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Doogie Houser), I have to give the nod to The Boondocks. Not only has Aaron McGruder finally brought Huey and company to the tele, he’s also given Uncle Ruckus, the self-hating black man, a suitably comical voice.

Game of the Year: Resident Evil 4
If you didn’t choose RE 4 as your game of the year you obviously haven’t played RE 4. With lush, eerie environments, spot-on character models, and an enemy AI that just won’t quit Capcom again managed to scare the hell out of me while all the while spurning me toward a climactic, and none-too cheesy, resolution. Best. Resident. Evil. Ever.

Website of the Year: Scary-Go-Round
I love Web comics, but there are so damn many to visit that I sometimes have to cut the fat. Scary-Go-Round is lean. Clean and lean and, occasionally, obscene. Okay, not actually obscene, I just got a bit carried away… Sorry. Anyway, with all the charm of a Monty Python animated short (without the over-sized feet) and all the style of a Cornershop single, John Allison's Scary-Go-Round is the site that I make it a point to hit each Monday-Friday.

Man/Woman of the Year: Old Grandma Hardcore
With all the press she’s been getting from MTV, Game Informer, the Washington Post, and others, my mention of Old Grandma Hardcore won’t garner her blog any more measurable hits than she’s already pushing, but I gotsta give credit where credit is due. This 70 year-old dynamo has beaten more games than you’ve played, and she will completely kill your ass for an Xbox 360. And that, my friends, is hardcore.

Well, those are my picks. What about yours? Feel free to omit/add categories as you see fit.

Mid-Week MP3

Earlier this year French duo Daft Punk released their fifth studio album Human After All. While I still haven’t picked this record up if there’s any justice on the world it’ll make its way into my X-mas stocking. While most critics and fans seem to agree that this is not their best work, I’ll still get it (one way or another). Why? Because the band that may me reconsider electronic music in general and House specifically as valid an emotionally charged forms of musical expression deserves no less. But I’m not here to debate their merits so much as to share my love of their music.

With that said, let’s all hop aboard the Way-Back Machine to 2001 when Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo and Thomas Bangalter took us on a dizzying adventure through the musical madness that was Discovery. The music from this album served as a joint concept piece with the brilliant animation of the legendary Leiji Matsumoto as demonstrated through the movie Interstella 5555: The 5tory of a 5ecret 5tar 5ystem. The album/film weaves an elaborate tale of love, loss, disco, and space ships, and nowhere is this more prevalent than in the single “Digital Love.”

For the love of God, buy Discovery! Hell, buy Interstella too! While Daft Punk’s earlier works are equally good, none have the emotional appeal of the tale of a band, a man, a monster, and the music that binds them all together. So at that, please enjoy this week’s Mid-Week MP3… and keep on dancin’.

1modernboy humbly requests that you use these MP3s solely as a means of evaluation. If you like what you hear, please buy records, CDs, t-shirts, or other merchandise to support this band/artist and his/her/their label-mates. Seeing them live probably wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
Should the features artist, or the related label or distributor take issue with my inclusion of the song file, please don’t hesitate to contact me, so that the offending file can be removed.

Daft Punk -- Digital Love

Mid-Week MP3

In honor of this week’s Thanksgiving Day celebration, here is a quick list of a half-dozen things that I’m thankful for:

*My wife and son
*The Rangers not sucking this season
*My Scion xB (Thanks, dear!)
*Cook’s Grand Spumante
*The Nintendo DS
*The enduring legacy of The Clash

That last one brings me to this week’s Mid-Week MP3.

The Clash have proven to be a band far more significant than their initial lifespan. Their ten year tenure as the ruling kings of political punk pales in comparison to the lasting relevance of their music and message. Originally composed of Joe Strummer, Mick Jones, Paul Simonon , and Terry Chimes (plus Keith Leven, if in name only), the band didn’t hit full stride until Chimes’s replacement Topper Headon sat behind the skins following the release of their first album. From simply leftist to elaborately anti-racist and Marxist politics, Strummer and company sang about and for the counterculture, urging the nihilistic punkers of the day to stand up and be counted as a force for positive cultural change.

While initial success in the states seemed like a long shot, even we stuffy Americans could appreciate the band’s universal appeal, and today you can’t pass a high school without seeing some young buck in a London Calling t-shirt. No band before or since managed to succeed in the melding of punk, rockabilly, reggae, rap, dub, and pop to such a degree as The Clash. Though drugs and fame tore the band apart in 1983, individual members continued to participate in various artistic endeavors, with varying degrees of commercial success. Tragically, Joe Strummer’s career ended abruptly in 2002 when he fell victim to a heart attack at the age of 50.

This song is for Mick and for Topper and for Terry and for Paul and for Joe (R.I.P.) and for you. Consider it an early Christmas present. Enjoy, and save me some stuffing.

1modernboy humbly requests that you use these MP3s solely as a means of evaluation. If you like what you hear, please buy records, CDs, t-shirts, or other merchandise to support this band/artist and his/her/their label-mates. Seeing them live probably wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
Should the features artist, or the related label or distributor take issue with my inclusion of the song file, please don’t hesitate to contact me, so that the offending file can be removed.

The Clash -- 1-2 Crush on You

Uncle Ruckus

I was lucky enough to catch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire on opening weekend, and I have to say I dug it. While the book was, in my humble opinion, the best in the series so far, the movie was a noticeable abridged version – more akin to a friend telling you about the book in a drunken, sometimes uneven and vehemently whispered conversation. Still, it was a keeper. The visual presentation and overall look was clean and consistent, even when the dialogue slipped, and the super CGI monsters and shit didn’t really take away from the story. I didn’t like it quite as much as Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, but it was a noble effort that I think most fans will enjoy.

In other entertainment news, if you’re not watching The Boondocks on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim block, shame on you! Aaron McGruder’s comic masterpiece has made the jump to television with its wit (and all its venom) intact.

Mid-Week MP3

If you don’t know Paul Weller and The Jam, then A) you’re really missing out and B) you’re obviously not English. And, while I’d love to prattle on about the importance of the band and its songwriting powerhouse, I see know reason to rehash what others have done in a much more concise and logical manner. Suffice it to say that this track, and nearly any track by Paul and the boys (together or separately) is golden. Slip on that parka and enjoy!

1modernboy humbly requests that you use these MP3s solely as a means of evaluation. If you like what you hear, please buy records, CDs, t-shirts, or other merchandise to support this band/artist and his/her/their label-mates. Seeing them live probably wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
Should the features artist, or the related label or distributor take issue with my inclusion of the song file, please don’t hesitate to contact me, so that the offending file can be removed.

The Jam -- I Got By In Time

Y’all ass is crazy: Your entire ass is crazy.

"Oh my God a rubber!"

Robert Kelly is many things to many people. Actually, to most people he’s just a perv who makes music in his spare time, but that is neither here nor there. The interesting thing is that somehow, between all the pee play, fights with Jay Z and company, and other bad press, Kelly has found time to make, perhaps, the world’s most convoluted, self-indulgent concept album. His Trapped in the Closet, a twelve part “urban musical” follows the lives of a literal shit-ton of characters as they proceed to screw around with each other and get caught. As if the plot wasn’t bad enough, each of the “songs” sacrifice traditional structure in favor of narration and dialogue… all performed by Kelly.

I had pretty much ignored this mess until I unwittingly turned to one of the videos last week, only to hear Kelly singing in a high-pitched southern drawl as an overweight white woman tried to convince her husband that nothing was, in fact, wrong. Simultaneously confused and disgusted, I sought a way to gather information on this sad, sad project without actually having to devote time to watching/listening to the individual chapters. Thankfully, our friends at SomethingAwful.com have prepared Cliff Notes for chapters 1 through 5, and the rest of the story so far can be hashed out thanks to good ol’ Wikipedia.

Enjoy, and may God have mercy on you if you can actually follow this shit.

The difference is clear...

I was just listening to the Sirius BBC Radio 1 feed and two news items immediately got me. In the first, a schoolgirl was attacked and stabbed multiple times with scissors by a gang of teenagers while standing in the lunch line. In the second, celebrity chef Jamie Oliver has come under fire for killing a farm animal in rural Italy in the traditional style of the region on his television show.

I can’t help but think that if these had happened in the states, we would’ve blamed the one on the other.

Mid-Week MP3

After a brief break (due to illness) 1mod is back with another Mid-Week MP3.

This week we explore the work of Jonathan Richman & the Modern Lovers. Hailing from Boston, Richman tests the waters of idiocy. His songs are simple, even by the proto-punk standards of The Ramones. His lyrics are childlike, almost to a ridiculous degree, but his place in the canon that is our American musical heritage has been cemented by a loyal following since his work in the 1970s.

More recently Jonathan has been met with moderate mainstream attention due to his frequent television appearances on Late Night with Conan O’Brien and his role in 1998's There’s Something About Mary.

But to fans, whether he’s favoring us with old classics, singing Spanish folk songs, or simply giving one of his famous, rambling interviews, he’s just Jonathan… and he has a lot to say about life, love, Abominable Snowmen, and, in this case, those fine folks who work down at the Government Center.

1modernboy humbly requests that you use these MP3s solely as a means of evaluation. If you like what you hear, please buy records, CDs, t-shirts, or other merchandise to support this band/artist and his/her/their label-mates. Seeing them live probably wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
Should the features artist, or the related label or distributor take issue with my inclusion of the song file, please don’t hesitate to contact me, so that the offending file can be removed.

Jonathan Richman & the Modern Lovers – The Government Center

What kind of Sixties Person are you?

You are a Mod. Yeah baby.

What kind of Sixties Person are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things

For those of you looking for a cheap and easy way to wile away the workday, may I humbly suggest Urban Dead. In the words of the game’s creator, “Urban Dead is a browser-based, grid-mapped, free-to-play multi-player game where you play the survivor or victim of a zombie outbreak in a quarantined city centre.”

Not only is it free, but it’ll also help get you in the proper Halloween mood! Plus, the description is full o' hyphens. Hurray for hyphens!!!

Oh, if you’re around the suburb of Old Arkham, you may find me healing survivors in the subtle guise of Dr. Drake Remore.

Mid-Week MP3

With the final installment of festive Halloween MP3s, I figured I would kick it, as the kids say, old school. Real old school.

For me, there are a few conditional holidays – holidays that don’t really count unless a certain event occurs. The Fourth of July, for example, isn’t fully legal until I’ve pissed off a porch… any porch. Thanksgiving just isn’t Thanksgiving until the local NPR affiliate plays Arlo Guthrie. Halloween is like that, too. As much as I dig it, as much as I wait for it, and plan for it, it ain’t shit without Werewolves of London by Warren Zevon.

Warren left us in September 7 of 2003, but not without establishing a lasting legacy of funny, quirky, creepy-assed songs from his thirty-plus year career. Do yourself a favor and pick up some Zevon from your local record store, and, if you’re a cheap bastard, try the library. They usually keep a bit of Warren around.

Oddly enough, Werewolves was one of Warren lighter songs. For a man with a preoccupation with death, oppression, and murder, he sure knew how to howl. But never mind the particulars, just get to downloading.

And a happy, happy Halloween to all.

1modernboy humbly requests that you use these MP3s solely as a means of evaluation. If you like what you hear, please buy records, CDs, t-shirts, or other merchandise to support this band/artist and his/her/their label-mates. Seeing them live probably wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
Should the features artist, or the related label or distributor take issue with my inclusion of the song file, please don’t hesitate to contact me, so that the offending file can be removed.

Warren Zevon – Werewolves of London

Mid-Week MP3

Excuse me while I switch gears from the grim and grisly wiles of Murder City Devils and the demon summoning charms of Ink & Dagger. You see, this week’s Mid-Week MP3 is brought to you by none other than the champions of 80s goth, The Cure.

Robert Smith and company are known more for eyeliner, sing-along choruses, and shuffling, frumpy girls in long skirts and leggings than death, dismemberment, and the dark arts, but I find The Cure’s Lullaby to be one of the eeriest goddamn songs I’ve ever heard. This offering, from 1989’s Disintegration, whether about addiction, assault, or simply a supernatural boogeyman, is no less distressing now than it was 16 years ago.

Do yourself a favor and pick up some Cure. While Disintegration is of particular merit, the bulk of the band’s library is exemplary. With that said, please enjoy this week’s extra Halloween-y Mid-Week MP3, and join me here next week for the riveting conclusion of all this spooky-assed shit!

1modernboy humbly requests that you use these MP3s solely as a means of evaluation. If you like what you hear, please buy records, CDs, t-shirts, or other merchandise to support this band/artist and his/her/their label-mates. Seeing them live probably wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
Should the features artist, or the related label or distributor take issue with my inclusion of the song file, please don’t hesitate to contact me, so that the offending file can be removed.

The Cure -- Lullaby

Mid-Week MP3

Okay, I guess this one is an End of Week MP3, but hey, sometime life gets you like that. I'll be continuing our festive theme, but this week I’ll shift gears a bit. Last week Murder City Devils regaled us with a tale of war and loss and an untimely hanging. This week we head into the murky waters of punk rock vampires, compliments of Ink & Dagger.

This band of Philadelphia blood suckers hit the scene in 1996, with and odd mix of blazing guitars and pancake makeup that somehow delighted the notoriously fickle hardcore audience. Within a few years the band had changed their look and sound to something more progressive and much less kitschy, eventually dispending amid much fanfare in 1999. Less than a year later, frontman Sean McCabe was found dead in an Indiana hotel room – the result of an excessive drinking binge.

Another rock ‘n’ roll tragedy, but, thankfully, the music lives on. With that said, please kick back and enjoy The Road to Hell, from the 1997 release Drive This Seven Inch Wooden Stake through My Philadelphia Heart. Much of Ink & Dagger’s library remains in print, and you can get a bit more of the band’s history (and merch) over at Buddyhead.

1modernboy humbly requests that you use these MP3s solely as a means of evaluation. If you like what you hear, please buy records, CDs, t-shirts, or other merchandise to support this band/artist and his/her/their label-mates. Seeing them live probably wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
Should the features artist, or the related label or distributor take issue with my inclusion of the song file, please don’t hesitate to contact me, so that the offending file can be removed.

Ink & Dagger – The Road to Hell

Mid-Week MP3

This week’s Mid-Week MP3 launches what I like to consider the official Halloween season. Put the kids to bed early and break out your Styrofoam tombstones, folks! You’re in for four weeks of creepy, freaky, and pretty damned fucked up songs. Leading the charge will be one of my personal favorites – Murder City Devils.

MCD was a brilliant punk rock outfit out of Seattle who came on strong in 1996 and kept on keeping on until 2001. Musically, I’d say they were midway between the classic drive of early Misfits and the (then) modern flare of At the Drive-In (with whom they toured extensively). This track comes to you from the notorious In Name and Blood album, a multimedia cd experience that, in addition to being their strongest musical effort, depicted each member of the band as a victim of a gruesome murder. Good times.

I’ll not bore you with details, but a little digging will find that the Devils' former members are currently involved with such indy fair as Pretty Girls Make Graves and Modest Mouse. Good bands to check out if you've missed them so far. Most MCD releases are still available from Sub Pop, and should be purchased post-haste.

With that said, please enjoy the deep, groovy, goth-y synth, the staggered vocals, driving rhythm, and the fierce guitar attack that is Press Gang.

This year the candy comes early!

1modernboy humbly requests that you use these MP3s solely as a means of evaluation. If you like what you hear, please buy records, CDs, t-shirts, or other merchandise to support this band/artist and his/her/their label-mates. Seeing them live probably wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
Should the features artist, or the related label or distributor take issue with my inclusion of the song file, please don’t hesitate to contact me, so that the offending file can be removed.

Murder City Devils – Press Gang

Pray for my Nintendog...

Nintendo has launched yet another full-out assault on my wallet with this week’s release of both Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow & Trauma Center: Under the Knife for the Nintendo DS. Basically, I plan to spend my free time slaying demons and performing surgery without a license… same as any week!

Mid-Week MP3

Word on the street is that the surviving members of the New York Dolls have once again hit the road (at the behest of Morrissey, no less). As such, this week we shall celebrate the gifts afforded us by these proto-punk, cross-dressing, hard-living Rock ‘N’ Rollers. If you are a fan of rock music, or punk, or art rock, or R&B, arena rock, metal, or any other of a myriad of genres, then you, no doubt, have some idea of the importance of five boys from NYC. If you don’t… well, then there isn’t much I or anyone else can do for you.

In 1971, David Johansen, Johnny Thunders, Sylvain Sylvain, Arthur "Killer" Kane and Billy Murcia came together under bright likes and heavy makeup to start a revolution. Citing influences like the MC5, The Stooges, and T-Rex, this band went on to inspire the punk rock generation in a way that only they could. Many were lost along the way. Murcia died before the first album was even released, and was replaced by Jerry Nolan. Thunders died of an overdose in 1991, and Nolan himself followed a few months later. Kane finally left us the middle of last year. Despite all these deaths, the spirit and the legacy of the Dolls lives on.

This track is from the first album. It’s still available, as are their follow-ups. Do yourself a favor and pick it up. Also, be on the lookout for a new Dolls album from the two surviving members in Spring 2006.

1modernboy humbly requests that you use these MP3s solely as a means of evaluation. If you like what you hear, please buy records, CDs, t-shirts, or other merchandise to support this band/artist and his/her/their label-mates. Seeing them live probably wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
Should the features artist, or the related label or distributor take issue with my inclusion of the song file, please don’t hesitate to contact me, so that the offending file can be removed.

New York Dolls – Lonely Planet Boy

myMid-Week MP3

The Mooney Suzuki has made a name for itself by systematic implementation of three key elements – a dynamic pair of core members (Sammy James Junior and Graham Tyler) who power the band despite some rotation of other members, relentless touring punctuated by powerfully frenetic live shows, and a sound that is pure garage rock.

The band remained true to their sound, even with their 2002 Columbia Records debut, Electric Sweat. And, while they never quite made the jump to the mainstream, energetic live performances on several late-night network talk shows and the breakthrough video for the Electric Sweat track "In A Young Man's Mind" (which made a fair turn on MTV2) served to catapult the band ever closer.

Sadly, the band was dropped as a result of the Sony-BMG merger, and found themselves without a label for a time. However, the resourceful boys of The Mooney Suzuki survived by embracing the very media that so many other garage bands revile. Their music popped up in everything from ads to TV shows to movies (as The Mooney Suzuki composed the title song for the Jack Black comedy School of Rock), and this helped them weather the storm until Richard Branson's V2 Records stepped in to give the band a new home.

In an interesting turn, the band’s newest album Alive & Amplified is a departure from the minimalist, stripped down sound that fans have come to expect from The Mooney Suzuki. And while fan response has run the gamut, one thing is perfectly clear – the spirit of the band remains as strong as ever.

This weeks’ track is the title song from 02’s Electric Sweat. It, as well as the new record and several previous releases are still available for purchase.

1modernboy humbly requests that you use these MP3s solely as a means of evaluation. If you like what you hear, please buy records, CDs, t-shirts, or other merchandise to support this band/artist and his/her/their label-mates. Seeing them live probably wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
Should the features artist, or the related label or distributor take issue with my inclusion of the song file, please don’t hesitate to contact me, so that the offending file can be removed.

The Mooney Suzuki -- Electric Sweat

I Trod on Lego

If you’re into the funnay, and I know you are, then you should be reading Scary Go Round. It is a Monday-Friday Web comic by a dapper English gent name of John Allison. The lines are clean and the colors vibrant, the plots convoluted and implausible, and the characters dreadfully self-absorbed – in short, it’s the perfect addition to your daily online constitutional!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

Ahoy you scurvy rat-bastards, today be International Talk Like a Pirate Day! In addition to being a celebration of all things piratical, it also be the most sacred and hallowed of days to those of us who count themselves among the blessed.

The Revolution starts now…

And it is fuckin’ weird! 1Up has some exclusive info on the new, nontraditional controller that Nintendo has devised for its Revolution system. It’s… well, it’s a trippy remote control. See?

Mid-Week MP3

In observance of the recent passing of an American blues legend, this week’s MP3 is from none other than the late R.L. Burnside. The life of Robert Lee Burnside follows a similar pattern to the lives of other Mississippi bluesmen -- he was born poor, spent much of his life performing manual labor, spent time in prison, and focused much of his energy on women, booze, and music.

Burnside was inspired to play by John Lee Hooker, and took to the juke joint circuit to build his talent. Though he recorded in the 1960s under the Arhoolie Records label, it wasn’t until the 1990s that R.L. began to garner a true following. Much of Burnside’s later material, including his groundbreaking collaboration with the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion, is available from Fat Possum Records.

Please enjoy the following track, a personal favorite from his Wish I Were in Heaven Sitting Down album, called “Miss Maybelle.”

And R.L., I hope you’re sitting down up there.

1modernboy humbly requests that you use these MP3s solely as a means of evaluation. If you like what you hear, please buy records, CDs, t-shirts, or other merchandise to support this band/artist and his/her/their label-mates. Seeing them live probably wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
Should the features artist, or the related label or distributor take issue with my inclusion of the song file, please don’t hesitate to contact me, so that the offending file can be removed.

R.L. Burnside – Miss Maybelle

Oh, Miss Maybelle

For those of you who, like me, missed this news last week: the world has lost yet another living musical legend.

“I didn’t say [I shot in] self-defense; I said I shot ‘im in the leg when he was jumpin' over da fence.” –R.L. Burnside

Cultural Diversity

Here’s a little funny for all you fans of the Engrish phenomenon. To your left is a picture of a puzzle I recently purchased for my son. Normally, I don’t demand much in the way of “quality” from items I acquire from the Target dollar rack, but this is just sad. Apparently there’s a sweatshop somewhere in Taipei where shoeless children crank out puzzle boards featuring those ever-so delightful farm friends, the chiken and the lamp. It's just wrong on so many levels.

Mid-Week MP3

Lindsey Buckingham is best known as the guitarist and songwriter of 1970s juggernaut Fleetwood Mac. Buckingham cemented a reputation as a master of fingerpicking early in his career, eventually affording him the opportunity to join the group and enjoy all of the spoils of rock stardom. Yet while the radio-friendly pop stylings of the band gave Fleetwood Mac (and Buckingham) much success, Lindsey is also known for his share of commercial flops.

Despite producing three hit singles, Fleetwood Mac’s 1979 double-album Tusk (on which Buckingham served as producer, as well as principal songwriter) served to arouse the ire of bandmates and critics alike due to a lack of commercial success. The bad blood that followed the ambitious and incredibly weird Tusk precipitated the tamer follow-up album Mirage. Following its release, the band went on an extended hiatus, allowing for ample time for each member to dabble in the world of the solo project. Buckingham’s two solo releases, Law and Order and Go Insane, however, were merely moderate successes as compared to Stevie Nicks' Belladona.

Buckingham recorded one more album with the band before a not-so amicable split left him a free agent. Not one to be stymied by the less-than-stellar reception of his first two solo albums, Lindsey spent nearly four years in studio crafting Out of the Cradle. This 1992 outing all but failed commercially, but was his most personal and complex album to date. In the 1990s, Buckingham found his way back to Fleetwood Mac, with no small amount of help from then-president Bill Clinton, but to listen to his solo work, unencumbered by collaborators, offers a glimpse of a musical maverick with a sound and vision all his own.

This week’s MP3 is an offering from Out of the Cradle. This album, as well as Lindsey’s other solo works, are still available, and come highly recommended… but what do you expect from the man who wrote "Holiday Road"?

1modernboy humbly requests that you use these MP3s solely as a means of evaluation. If you like what you hear, please buy records, CDs, t-shirts, or other merchandise to support this band/artist and his/her/their label-mates. Seeing them live probably wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
Should the features artist, or the related label or distributor take issue with my inclusion of the song file, please don’t hesitate to contact me, so that the offending file can be removed.

Lindsey Buckingham -- Countdown

my inner child is a creepy li’l bastard

Halloween, for me, is less a one-night event and more of a holiday season unto itself. It starts around the last day of September and continues until November 2nd, the day when most (if not all) remaining Halloween merchandise has made its way down the retail discount ladder and into the trunk of my car. Each year my quest for the creepiest movie, the cheapest and most delectable candies, and the oddest, most positively garish decorations and party favors is aided by a score of unwitting allies, and this year the fine folks at the Jones Soda company have been the earliest contributors.

Renowned for their non-traditional soft drink flavors, Jones has just released two new limited edition beverages for the season: Caramel Apple and Candy Corn. While Caramel Apple is a tart and sweet delight, it is the Candy Corn flavor that really got me. This viscous, piss-yellow liquid is so loaded with high fructose corn syrup that it positively sings diabetes. You just can’t mess with that! Plus, both flavors (as well as several of Jones’ other non-limited edition, Halloween-y type sodas) come in decorative holiday-themed cans.

Cross your gnarled and hoary fingers and rush to your local Target to score some.

Das Crazy Germans

When I think light-hearted Web apps in the style of American television icons, I immediately think Germany. I mean, who wouldn’t?

Interestingly enough, it is these wacky Europeans who have favored us with South Park Studio (Ver. 2), a South Park character generator. It's a handy-dandy device that uses a simple Flash interface to select various colors and styles of standard South Park body part fare to create your own delightfully profane little ragamuffin. You can even put your character in such famously fictitious locales as "Stark's Pond" or "the bus stop."

Go there now and South Park-ize your friends, family, and favorite member of the Facts of Life cast... (*psssst* Think Tootie!)

Mid-Week MP3

A Deadsy fan, or as the band might refer to him: one of the Legions, once described the group to me as “completely unmarketable.” This is both an apt description and a damn shame, as the sound and the very concept of the band is nigh indescribably unique.

Deadsy is probably best known as the pet project of frontman/lyricist/guitarist Elijah Blue Allman, the son of Cher and Dwayne Allman. Rounding out the band is bassist Creature, Dr. Nner on synth, Alec Püre on percussion, and Carlton Megalodon on a delightful little instrument called the Ztar, which is a basically jacked-up MIDI guitar controller. This unique makeup allows for music that is simultaneously dark, ethereal, heavy, and melodic.

A common observer might call the sound Goth (more Type O Negative or Orgy Goth than The Cure or Bauhaus Goth), but the band insists that their low and dissonant style of music is "Undercore." This distinctive aural presentation, coupled with a lyrical predilection for sci-fi, the occult, and odd pop culture references, is only matched by the truly bizarre conceptual image flaunted by the band.

Each member is representative of a color and an element (or “Entity”) which drives society. For their 2002 album Commencement, this took the form of creepy prep school uniform that each member customized with his own shade and sigil. This gave the impression of a cabal of the idle rich freed from the trappings of mortal life to pursue some preternatural, haunting truth. It also made them look quite dapper for a Rock ’n’ Roll band.

The band has recently shifted away from the “boys’ club” look of their previous work as they prepare for the immanent release of their new album Phantasmagore, presumably on Dreamworks Records. Their Web site has change accordingly, and now sports a new take on the ubiquitous television test pattern of old.

In the meantime, Commencement is still available from retailers in its official 2002 incarnation (from whence this track hails) and, for those of you looking for something a little more raw, a less-than-official 1999 release of the album exists that supposedly sports extra tracks. Band merchandise for the new album is also available.

1modernboy humbly requests that you use these MP3s solely as a means of evaluation. If you like what you hear, please buy records, CDs, t-shirts, or other merchandise to support this band/artist and his/her/their label-mates. Seeing them live probably wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
Should the features artist, or the related label or distributor take issue with my inclusion of the song file, please don’t hesitate to contact me, so that the offending file can be removed.

Deadsy -- Winners

And they call it puppy love.

For all of you non-gamer-type parents out there still reeling from the GTA Hot Coffee debacle, I have some alarming news. Your children are again being corrupted by the sinister machinations of “them there video-tronic games.” Witness the Nintendogs Hot Biscuit mod!

Somebody get Jack Thompson on the phone…

The King of Plop

I truly believe that the refrain to Michael Jackson’s Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough is as follows:

Keep on, to the post office. Don’t stop ‘til you get enough.

I may be wrong, though. For twelve years I thought the theme song from Diff’rent Strokes said: A man is born, he’s a manatee. I guess that proves, above all else, that I too am fallible.

Nintendogs update

After only two days, my Nintendog, a doxie named Hershel, has learned to sit, shake hands, and lie down. He's fairly well behaved and agreeable, for what is essentially a software-based non-dog, and he seems eager to be trained. However his most endearing quality is his irrational fear of sticks. I shit you not.

On a late-night walk we found a decoratively wrapped package containing said stick (which is odd in and of itself, but that’s not the point), and when we got back to our minimally decorated and oh-so modern little flat, I thought I’d throw the stick. Owing to the fact that Hershel is a friggin’ dog, I assumed he would happily chase down the twig and gnaw on it to his heart’s content, but it didn’t go that way. Basically, he cowered and yelped, approached the stick cautiously, took a wiff of it with his outstretched nose and ran for cover.

My Nintendog is an unmitigated coward.

Mid-Week MP3

MC Pee Pants is, in reality, a giant spider in a disposable diaper. Sir Loin is a rapping cow who’s lookin’ to collect canned goods for the shorties… and also wears a disposable diaper. And yet both these Aqua Teen Hunger Force characters are voiced by the one and only Chris Ward (A.K.A. mc chris); a man that truly has more personas than the late Old Dirty Bastard.

mc chris (note the lack of capitalization) is a voice actor, writer, and comedic rapper often associated with the nerdcore hiphop scene. Ward was born in Libertyville, Illinois, relocated to Atlanta to work with William Street Studios on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim block, but currently lives on the road, touring with his band the Lee Majors (allegedly made up of members of NYC pop-punkers Dirt Bike Annie). His latest album Eating’s Not Cheating is for sale on his Web site, while this track, along with the rest of his first release Life’s a Bitch and I’m Her Pimp, are available for free download via the same site.

1modernboy humbly requests that you use these MP3s solely as a means of evaluation. If you like what you hear, please buy records, CDs, t-shirts, or other merchandise to support this band/artist and his/her/their label-mates. Seeing them live probably wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
Should the features artist, or the related label or distributor take issue with my inclusion of the song file, please don’t hesitate to contact me, so that the offending file can be removed.

mc chris -- DQ Blizzard

Is this wrong?

At what point in my life did I decide it was okay to purchase a Japanese puppy simulator?

Ranch

I love commercials. I simply can’t help myself. Commercials to me are the true artistic vignettes of modern society – they are one act plays that warn against the danger of feminine itch and the attest to the glory of the flip-top head. Unfortunately, fast food commercials tend to disappoint. You’d think all the money we flabby assed drive-thru types generate would provide enough scratch for them to muster up a legitimate marketing blitz, but that ain’t usually the case.

But on the horizon there is a new flaxen-haired paramour of the lustful chow hound. He is… the Ranch Tooth. Not since Quizno’s unleashed those slack-jawed, zombified hamsters on the airwaves have I been so enamored with a restaurant advertising hook.

I feel for you, simple everyman, as your Ranch Tooth vexes you at every turn. I understand your woe, and your desire for what is essentially a sandwich slathered in dressing. And yet, I envy you. Were it that I too had a comically oversized anthropomorphic molar in a Stetson to whisper Raaaaaaaaaaaaanch to me, why then I too could face this cold, cruel world with head held high and belly full. But no… alas, I have only my beer tooth the keep me company.

In short, the Ranch Tooth beats the hell outta those Burger King commercials where the thrash band in rooster helmets sing about the social revolution afforded by chicken fries.

Ah, who the hell am I kidding? I fully embrace “one kingdom under chicken fries.”

Mid-Week MP3

With school back in session for most of America’s youth, I thought I’d do one for the little ones. And what do they want? Well, I am of the opinion that kids love the ska. As such, this week’s track is from contemporary ska maven Chris Murray.

Formerly lead singer of Canadian ska outfit King Apparatus, Murray relocated to Los Angeles and started his solo work after the 1994 demise of the band. He focused on a soft, lo-fi sound that placed a special emphasis on his unique songwriting talents. His first solo outing, The 4-track Adventures of Venice Shoreline Chris, showcased this unique artist in a genre sometimes called “campfire ska.”

LA life seems to be agreeing with Chris, as his gig as host of Bluebeat Lounge at the Knitting Factory and a string of local and regional shows with his Chris Murray Combo mot assuredly attests. Chris and the Combo currently reside on LA’s own Asian Man Records -- a label owned and operated by Mike Park (of Skankin’ Pickle fame). Asian Man is a label with the unique view of exclusively supporting bands that are “anti-racist, anti-sexist and anti-prejudice.” Asian Man has also released tracks and albums from the likes of Big D and the Kids Table, The Toasters, and Screeching Weasel. Chris's albums and the works of many other fantastic acts are available for purchase through the Asian Man Web site.

1modernboy humbly requests that you use these MP3s solely as a means of evaluation. If you like what you hear, please buy records, CDs, t-shirts, or other merchandise to support this band/artist and his/her/their label-mates. Seeing them live probably wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
Should the features artist, or the related label or distributor take issue with my inclusion of the song file, please don’t hesitate to contact me, so that the offending file can be removed.

Chris Murray -- Rock Steady

Mid-Week MP3

Elevator Drops were a delightful synth pop band that came and went years before synth pop bands again became a marketable commodity.

While their long-awaited final album has recently been released by The Archenemy Record Company, this track harkens back to their heyday; a time when the Boston trio was signed to the Time Bomb Recordings label, one-time home of such illustrious acts as Reverend Horton Heat, Social Distortion, and Sunny Day Real Estate. Sentimental Love was the lead-in track from their 1997 release People Mover, which, coincidentally, is still available to those with the urge to look for it.

If you dig the Bowie and the Eno and the makeup and the outer space, you will most certainly dig the EDrops. They were a band that was brash, poppy, pissy, sarcastic, melodic, and quasi-literate. All of these qualities, unfortunately, never served to garner them the acclaim they so richly deserved.

While the band itself is long gone, an official site still exists, but peruse it with caution. The EDrops are prone to flights of fancy, and by that I mean liberal quantities of good-natured bullshit.

1modernboy humbly requests that you use these MP3s solely as a means of evaluation. If you like what you hear, please buy records, CDs, t-shirts, or other merchandise to support this band/artist and his/her/their label-mates. Seeing them live probably wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
Should the features artist, or the related label or distributor take issue with my inclusion of the song file, please don’t hesitate to contact me, so that the offending file can be removed.

Elevator Drops -- Sentimental Love

Me & My Brother

Are the Ying Yang Twins retarded? I mean, seriously – I’m not making fun, I’m just asking if they, either on an individual or collective level, have any sort of developmental difficulties. They were just on and old ep of Players on G4, and there’s just something not right about those two. I’m just saying.