The King of Plop

I truly believe that the refrain to Michael Jackson’s Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough is as follows:

Keep on, to the post office. Don’t stop ‘til you get enough.

I may be wrong, though. For twelve years I thought the theme song from Diff’rent Strokes said: A man is born, he’s a manatee. I guess that proves, above all else, that I too am fallible.

Nintendogs update

After only two days, my Nintendog, a doxie named Hershel, has learned to sit, shake hands, and lie down. He's fairly well behaved and agreeable, for what is essentially a software-based non-dog, and he seems eager to be trained. However his most endearing quality is his irrational fear of sticks. I shit you not.

On a late-night walk we found a decoratively wrapped package containing said stick (which is odd in and of itself, but that’s not the point), and when we got back to our minimally decorated and oh-so modern little flat, I thought I’d throw the stick. Owing to the fact that Hershel is a friggin’ dog, I assumed he would happily chase down the twig and gnaw on it to his heart’s content, but it didn’t go that way. Basically, he cowered and yelped, approached the stick cautiously, took a wiff of it with his outstretched nose and ran for cover.

My Nintendog is an unmitigated coward.

Mid-Week MP3

MC Pee Pants is, in reality, a giant spider in a disposable diaper. Sir Loin is a rapping cow who’s lookin’ to collect canned goods for the shorties… and also wears a disposable diaper. And yet both these Aqua Teen Hunger Force characters are voiced by the one and only Chris Ward (A.K.A. mc chris); a man that truly has more personas than the late Old Dirty Bastard.

mc chris (note the lack of capitalization) is a voice actor, writer, and comedic rapper often associated with the nerdcore hiphop scene. Ward was born in Libertyville, Illinois, relocated to Atlanta to work with William Street Studios on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim block, but currently lives on the road, touring with his band the Lee Majors (allegedly made up of members of NYC pop-punkers Dirt Bike Annie). His latest album Eating’s Not Cheating is for sale on his Web site, while this track, along with the rest of his first release Life’s a Bitch and I’m Her Pimp, are available for free download via the same site.

1modernboy humbly requests that you use these MP3s solely as a means of evaluation. If you like what you hear, please buy records, CDs, t-shirts, or other merchandise to support this band/artist and his/her/their label-mates. Seeing them live probably wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
Should the features artist, or the related label or distributor take issue with my inclusion of the song file, please don’t hesitate to contact me, so that the offending file can be removed.

mc chris -- DQ Blizzard

Is this wrong?

At what point in my life did I decide it was okay to purchase a Japanese puppy simulator?

Ranch

I love commercials. I simply can’t help myself. Commercials to me are the true artistic vignettes of modern society – they are one act plays that warn against the danger of feminine itch and the attest to the glory of the flip-top head. Unfortunately, fast food commercials tend to disappoint. You’d think all the money we flabby assed drive-thru types generate would provide enough scratch for them to muster up a legitimate marketing blitz, but that ain’t usually the case.

But on the horizon there is a new flaxen-haired paramour of the lustful chow hound. He is… the Ranch Tooth. Not since Quizno’s unleashed those slack-jawed, zombified hamsters on the airwaves have I been so enamored with a restaurant advertising hook.

I feel for you, simple everyman, as your Ranch Tooth vexes you at every turn. I understand your woe, and your desire for what is essentially a sandwich slathered in dressing. And yet, I envy you. Were it that I too had a comically oversized anthropomorphic molar in a Stetson to whisper Raaaaaaaaaaaaanch to me, why then I too could face this cold, cruel world with head held high and belly full. But no… alas, I have only my beer tooth the keep me company.

In short, the Ranch Tooth beats the hell outta those Burger King commercials where the thrash band in rooster helmets sing about the social revolution afforded by chicken fries.

Ah, who the hell am I kidding? I fully embrace “one kingdom under chicken fries.”

Mid-Week MP3

With school back in session for most of America’s youth, I thought I’d do one for the little ones. And what do they want? Well, I am of the opinion that kids love the ska. As such, this week’s track is from contemporary ska maven Chris Murray.

Formerly lead singer of Canadian ska outfit King Apparatus, Murray relocated to Los Angeles and started his solo work after the 1994 demise of the band. He focused on a soft, lo-fi sound that placed a special emphasis on his unique songwriting talents. His first solo outing, The 4-track Adventures of Venice Shoreline Chris, showcased this unique artist in a genre sometimes called “campfire ska.”

LA life seems to be agreeing with Chris, as his gig as host of Bluebeat Lounge at the Knitting Factory and a string of local and regional shows with his Chris Murray Combo mot assuredly attests. Chris and the Combo currently reside on LA’s own Asian Man Records -- a label owned and operated by Mike Park (of Skankin’ Pickle fame). Asian Man is a label with the unique view of exclusively supporting bands that are “anti-racist, anti-sexist and anti-prejudice.” Asian Man has also released tracks and albums from the likes of Big D and the Kids Table, The Toasters, and Screeching Weasel. Chris's albums and the works of many other fantastic acts are available for purchase through the Asian Man Web site.

1modernboy humbly requests that you use these MP3s solely as a means of evaluation. If you like what you hear, please buy records, CDs, t-shirts, or other merchandise to support this band/artist and his/her/their label-mates. Seeing them live probably wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
Should the features artist, or the related label or distributor take issue with my inclusion of the song file, please don’t hesitate to contact me, so that the offending file can be removed.

Chris Murray -- Rock Steady

Mid-Week MP3

Elevator Drops were a delightful synth pop band that came and went years before synth pop bands again became a marketable commodity.

While their long-awaited final album has recently been released by The Archenemy Record Company, this track harkens back to their heyday; a time when the Boston trio was signed to the Time Bomb Recordings label, one-time home of such illustrious acts as Reverend Horton Heat, Social Distortion, and Sunny Day Real Estate. Sentimental Love was the lead-in track from their 1997 release People Mover, which, coincidentally, is still available to those with the urge to look for it.

If you dig the Bowie and the Eno and the makeup and the outer space, you will most certainly dig the EDrops. They were a band that was brash, poppy, pissy, sarcastic, melodic, and quasi-literate. All of these qualities, unfortunately, never served to garner them the acclaim they so richly deserved.

While the band itself is long gone, an official site still exists, but peruse it with caution. The EDrops are prone to flights of fancy, and by that I mean liberal quantities of good-natured bullshit.

1modernboy humbly requests that you use these MP3s solely as a means of evaluation. If you like what you hear, please buy records, CDs, t-shirts, or other merchandise to support this band/artist and his/her/their label-mates. Seeing them live probably wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
Should the features artist, or the related label or distributor take issue with my inclusion of the song file, please don’t hesitate to contact me, so that the offending file can be removed.

Elevator Drops -- Sentimental Love

Me & My Brother

Are the Ying Yang Twins retarded? I mean, seriously – I’m not making fun, I’m just asking if they, either on an individual or collective level, have any sort of developmental difficulties. They were just on and old ep of Players on G4, and there’s just something not right about those two. I’m just saying.

INXS

Last night while doing dishes I ignored the tiny, nagging voice of reason in my head that kept whispering No, no, oh God, please no… and watched a bit of Rock Star: INXS. I’m not entirely sure why, as there was a perfectly good episode of Mythbusters on at the time, but I watched, and that’s twenty minutes I’ll never get back.

It’s not that the performances where that bad, and I could almost tolerate the aura of ample cheesiness cast by co-hosts Dave Navarro (of Jane’s Addiction fame, and little else) and Brooke Burke (the vapid, sexed-up, eye candy). I reckon it’s the whole concept of the show that bugs me.

I’m not sure what Paula Yates (original INXS frontman Michael Hutchence’s widow) had to say about the deal, but it seems kind of a slap in the face of Hutchence himself. I just can’t fathom the scenario where Michael pulled his bandmates aside and said: “Alright, fellows, I just want you to know that, should I ever accidentally suffocate myself while whacking off, you lot have carte blanche to replace me via a poorly constructed television show.”

I hear that the surviving members of TLC are doing a similar show to find a suitable replacement for Left Eye, but that doesn’t exactly strengthen the argument for it.

INXS was a great band, and I was a fan. I was bummed when Michael Hutchence snuffed it, but this just seems a bit too silly a way to “revive the group and court a new generation of fans.”

Burninating the countryside!

And in other news, the Trogdor AIM screen name is up for sale on eBay. No shit!

For those of you not hip to the jive, Trogdor info is available here, here, and, most importantly, here.

Mid-Week MP3

With this, the inaugural week of Hipster, Please! well under way, I have opted to add what I hope to be a regular feature to my blog. The Mid-Week MP3 will be an opportunity for me to provide a little aural treat to the world at large. However, I want to do this without creating any sort of controversy, so let me take a moment to drop the following disclaimer:

1modernboy humbly requests that you use these MP3s solely as a means of evaluation. If you like what you hear, please buy records, CDs, t-shirts, or other merchandise to support this band/artist and his/her/their label-mates. Seeing them live probably wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
Should the features artist, or the related label or distributor take issue with my inclusion of the song file, please don’t hesitate to contact me, so that the offending file can be removed.

With that being said, this week’s track is Sweepstakes Prize by Mirah. It's freely available elsewhere, so I doubt there's any harm.

Mirah Yom Tov Zeitlyn is a singer/songwriter from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania currently residing in Olympia, Washington. She is presently on the K Records roster, along with artists such as Beat Happening and Dub Narcotic Sound System. This track is from her first K album You Think It's Like This But Really It's Like This (available at Amazon).

Sweepstakes Prize is a song that is breezy, minimalist, and solidly beautiful. It features a vibrant, concussive, but almost understated guitar lead, and very little other instrumentation aside from Mirah’s own sugary vocals. For more on Mirah, proceed to the K Records Web site. Download and enjoy.

Mirah -- Sweepstakes Prize (zipped via Winzip)

Excuse me, while I kiss this guy...

Now here's a chunk of randomness--

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SEATTLE - Jimi Hendrix might have stayed in the Army. He might have been sent to Vietnam. Instead, he pretended he was gay. And with that, he was discharged from the 101st Airborne in 1962, launching a musical career that would redefine the guitar, leave other rock heroes of the day speechless and culminate with his headlining performance of "The Star-Spangled Banner" at Woodstock in 1969.

Hendrix's subterfuge, contained in his military medical records, is revealed for the first time in Charles R. Cross' new biography, "Room Full of Mirrors." Publicly, Hendrix always claimed he was discharged after breaking his ankle on a parachute jump, but his medical records do not mention such an injury.

Link

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Since the military records belong to a “collector the author won’t name” the crux of the argument is foggy at best, but it’s still a fairly odd allegation. Even so, I really doubt the legacy of the Jimi Hedrix Experience and Jimi’s contribution to music will be tarnished by this “revelation.” Anyway, it just seemed too weird not to share.

At any rate, you gotta love biographical weirdness. I probably won't pick up the book, but the AP link damn sure makes for some fun cocktail conversation!

cheap clothes

I have been called many things. Among them, cheap twat seems particularly telling. It explains, in essence, my love affair with Target. Target sells inexpensive, durable goods at a fair price, which is nice. It’s also not Wal-Mart, which is a definite plus.

While I’m the first to admit that the whole young gent in a blazer thing has become a bit worn, I was pretty happy to find a nice, brown, sweetly casual pinstripe jacket at my local store for $35 -- compliments of our old pal Mossimo Giannulli. Most certainly not high fashion, but, if you can ignore the ubiquitous screen printing on the liner, not a bad coat for the price.