Friday, December 08, 2006

Nerd News in Brief

When you want your nerd news expediently delivered in easily digestible chunks, you need Nerd News in Brief. Am I right? Of course I’m right!

I’m like a momma bird, chewing up the nerd news and then vomiting it into your tiny, eager beaks. Only less gross.

  • Fans of Beefy’s Just Another Lazy Podcast should be aware that JALP now has a Web site of its very own. Makes you feel all tingly, doesn’t it?
  • Nerdcore artist I||GI|| will be playing a gig with Nintendo punk superstars 14 Year Old Girls in LA next Monday (December 11th) at il corral. West Coast nerds are instructed to head over there and get their geek on. Extra credit to anyone who can convince the ‘Girls to do an interview with Hipster, please!
  • Canadian MC Wordburglar has been nominated for a Bucky Award for Best Song Lyric (presented by CBC Radio 3), and it’s up to you to vote a brother in! Canada’s got democracy to spare. (Also be sure to vote for the excellent, but decidedly un-nerdy, Tegan & Sarah in the categories of Best Haircut and Band That Most Resembles Itself.)
  • In other hoser-related news, nerdcore rhymestriss, Baddd Spellah co-conspirator, and Ultraklystron’s numbah-one homie Nursehella was recently featured on a nerd music-centered radio broadcast. A leakage of her recent collab with Mr. Olson also occurred.
  • And lastly: people are stupid. I just don’t know how else to say it. Why else would there be widespread reports of people breaking shit with their Wii-motes? Sure, I’m certain that a percentage of the damage occurs because of faulty wrist straps, but I’m more than willing to bet that the bulk of them are due to over exuberance at best and just plain ol’ dumb-assitude at worst. This, I imagine, is the reason that Nintendo sent me the following friendly reminder concerning proper operation of my controller… As if the nag screen before every game and the extensive documentation provided with the console wasn’t enough. I weep for the world.



churchHatesTucker said...

LMAO. Did you go to the link on your flyer? Prophylactic idiot-proofing at its finest.

Hold the Wii Remote firmly and do not let go. Even while wearing the wrist strap, make sure you don't let go of the Wii Remote during game play and do not use excessive motion. For example, in Wii Sports bowling, the proper way to let go of the ball while bowling is to release the "B" button on the Wii Remote—DO NOT LET GO OF THE Wii REMOTE ITSELF. If you are having so much fun that you start perspiring, take a moment to dry your hands. If you use excessive motion and let go of the Wii Remote, the wrist strap may break and you could lose control of the Wii Remote. This could injure people nearby or cause damage to other objects.

ChurchHatesTucker said...

Crap. Just realized that paragraph is on the flyer itself. Still worth checking out the link for the endless stream of WARNINGs.

Z. said...

Things are rapidly getting out of hand, church. Is the average American consumer really that fucking stupid?

I was especially fond of this part:
Give yourself plenty of room. You will probably move around while using the Wii Remote , so be careful that all areas that you might move into are clear.

So I’m supposed to *move around* this motion sensitive controller? Holy shit!

churchHatesTucker said...

I am mesmerized by this. The degree of assumed stupidity is astounding.

If you use excessive motion and let go of the Wii Remote, the wrist strap may break and you could lose control of the Wii Remote.

Well, that seems clear enough. But no! They have to then explain that that would be bad. This could injure people nearby or cause damage to other objects.

darth_apu said...

you forgot to pass along that the nerdcore for life trailer is now up @

& thanks bro for giving me my work phrase for the next year:"just plain ol’ dumb-assitude"

Z. said...

How the fuck did I miss that? I’ve just added it as its own post. Thanks, D-A!