The most important blog post you’ll read all day

Tonight I shall fulfill my sacred duty by watching the season premiere of The Office on NBC. It ain’t much, but it is the task that I have set myself to do. I expect you all to do the same. All of you, that is, that aren’t within driving distance of the city they call New York.

Y’all are expected to report to Fat Baby at or before 9:00 PM. You should have with you $7 to give the big fellow at the door. You should also be 21. (That part is easier than it sounds.) You should also bring some extra cash and a change of clothes. The money is for drinks. The clothes? Oh, you’ll need to change after Shael Riley rocks the shit right out of you. I’m sure he only plans to do this in a figurative fashion, but you never know when Shael’s level of rockitude will approach it literally. Better safe than sorry.