Gimme an "I"

I don’t give an unholy fuck about the iPhone. I can’ afford one, I couldn’t find one if I had the scratch, and I no doubt lack the adequate amount of Mac-fanboy swagger to properly operate the infernal device even if the previous criteria were met. Plus it’s tethered to the iTunes service, which is, I truly believe, the devil.

But I am not your average joe.

You all probably want an iPhone. You, no doubt, lust for it’s oddly ceramic aesthetic and its uber-funky functionality. And so, I present to you the following links.

Don’t thank me; Church did all the legwork.

• Does your local Apple store have any iPhones in stock? See for yourself. Just don’t end up like poor Brent.
• Meet the guy that was almost the fifth cat in line… yeah… um… Wired? You… you’re not even trying anymore are you? Tough shit, ‘cause Gizmodo stole all the thunder; you can totally watch the line live! Wait… that sucks too.
• Um…Why not watch Stephen Colbert review an iPhone he didn’t get. That’s entertaining. (Note: Steve’s from South Carolina, a state with no Apple stores. I’m just sayin’.)
• For those of you who’ve already given up hope of finagling such a device, why not read the most recent Democratic Debate Report Card. Politics is still a relevant subject, right? Even in our post-iPhone world?
  

More Nerd News in Brief.

I am fascinated by “news,” and I use the term loosely. From the grisly to the entirely impertinent, I am bombarded daily with nuggets of info that in no way enrich my life.

Mostly they just scare me.

Are you happy, Scientific American? Now I’m afraid of bats!

*cough cough* More Nerd News in Brief.

• HOTH WAMPA!: mc chris recently got some face time on Star Wars dot com as part of their Star Wars Rocks collection of features. It’s a pretty interesting read as it covers not only mc’s current nerdy predilections, but those of the halcyon days of his youth. Mostly, I was just relieved to see that I’m not the only person who hasn’t grown any taller since early childhood.
• You’re his only hope: According to a recent MySpace bulletin, mc and company accidentally sent the pirate t-shirts intended for the Dante’s show to WOW Hall. As a result, Mr. Ward is currently looking for “one of you guys to drive up four boxes from Eugene to Portland.” What do you get for your trouble? Gas money and free admittance to the show for starters. Plus, mc’ll “give [you] free pirate merch and [you] can sit in one of the VIP seats at the Transformer screening.” His promises to also get you laid, buy you an iPhone, and give you a robot, unfortunately, look to be hollow. Holler at mc (deadmc@mcchris.com) if you’re interested.
  
• Glenn Case on Glenn Case: Northwestern ultra-nerd Glenn Case was recently interviewed for the Spokane 7. He talked about Song Fight!, the Half Racks, his remixes, and his “vinyl birthday.” Read it to find out.
• Fo Free: LA rockers Totally Radd! will be performing at the Viper Room for the Indie 103 Check One.. Two night on Monday, July 2nd. The bad news? The show’s 21+. The good news? The guys’ll get you in for free if you RSVP: rsvp@totallyradd.com
  
• RvB no more: Church just reminded me that the series featuring his namesake, Red vs. Blue, will shortly be no more. The finale of “The Blood Gulch Chronicles” should be available for viewing tomorrow. This is pretty much common knowledge, so I’ll just put it in a memo entitled “Shit You Already Know.”
• Like Ross and Rachel: Northwest Nerdcore is on a break. In Tanuki’s own words, the project “has been pretty much running on sheer determination for about two months now. We're burned out. We're taking a break.” Nook and company will, however, still do the mc chris show on the 3rd and, of course, Nerdcore Night at PAX. Everything else, though, is up in the air. Nook, y’all know where to find me if you need anything.
• Catfight!: And lastly, Beefy has started posting pix on a new Flickr account. There are a lot of as-yet unseen shots from The Mediocre Tour, and I found this image particularly charming. Girls will be girls.

Nerd News in Brief

I would regale you all with tales of my recent vacation, but I reckon the Dead Milkmen have already provided a pretty fair summation.

I am not a beach person. I am a desk person. And from this desk I bring you Nerd News in Brief.

• Calculate your Dangerosity: In answer to “the cats who apparently disagree that [he’s] on another level, skill-wise,” Jesse Dangerously has issued the following challenge: haters are encouraged to download the instrumental for his track “Outfox’d” – a personal favorite, if I do say so myself – and record a “a karaoke cover version that does any kind of justice” to the original. Jesse’s kindly provided the lyrics at his MySpace, and will be keeping a running tab of the attempts at his blog.
• No words to describe: If the cover version afforded by Jesse's challenge don’t float your boat, why not check out a Theremin cover of Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy.” I’m totally not joking. Thanks to funky49 for directing my attention toward this one.
• Meanwhile, back at the Baxter Building: My man LogicOne has just dropped “Give 'em More,” the first official single from his debut release The Fantastic Dr. Richards. You can check it out at his MySpace.
• A parting shot: Before heading off for his summer tour, Beef Thompson dropped a new track as well; this one is Beefy’s own personal diss track and is entitled “Diss Missed.” You can hear the song here and chart its response over at the RT boards.
• Weeding out the Replicants: Ill content to let funky 49 snatch his crown for the weirdest submission to a NNIB, my bro Church counters with the following: The Wave Magazine (EDIT: not-so) recently administered the Voight-Kampf test to San Francisco mayoral candidates. Tom Ammiano earns bonus points for getting the joke.
• Tales from the comic shop: And lastly, here’s a clip of Sir-Up unveiling his new track “Duo of Destruction” at a (newly retooled) Emergency Pizza Party show at last week's Florida Supercon. Enjoy!

Totally inappropriate

So far on this vacation, I have learned I am allergic to children's sun screen, the wife has left our car unlocked on the street for a full 24 hours, and my sun has fervently vomited in a local diner. But it ain't been all bad; the weather has been wonderfully mild and we hit up a great sushi place this evening. Still, if I had to sum up the trip in two words it would have to be totally inappropriate. Which is also how I describe this picture.
--Z.

More Nerd News in Brief

Consider this the More Nerd News in Brief pre-holiday busywork edition.

In order to guarantee that you are all adequately entertained in my absence, this one is chock-full of suggestions concerning how to spend your precious free time.

Quit fuckin’ around and listen to…

• The Blue Bomber: Random’s take on Capcom’s Mega Man saga, known simply as Mega Ran, dropped earlier this week. You can pick up a dumbed-down version on the free and enjoy the geeky hip-hop goodness.
• Full frontal nerdity: Florida poindexters Rocket Propelled Geeks also just dropped their latest offering GOTO 10. It too is bargain priced at $0.00, so you’ve no need not to pick it up. “Crimson Twins” comes highly recommended.
  

Get off the couch and go see…

• Front the most: MC Frontalot requests that all NY-area geeks “ATTEND the HECK” out of his upcoming shows. On Saturday, June 23rd he’ll be tag-teaming with the high-toned honky known as mc chris from 4:00 PM until 8:00 PM at Passout Record Shop (131 Grand St., Brooklyn) for the very reasonable price of FREE. Front goes on early, so show up for the duration. Then, the following Wednesday, June 27th, Frontalot will blow the doors off The Knitting Factory in Manhattan; doors open at 6:30 PM, but Front won’t commence the rockin’ until 8:00 PM. This all-ages gig costs 8 bones at the door.
• She’ll cut ya!: MC Router will be rocking out her own bad self this Sunday, June 24th at Embargo as part of the FW Weekly showcase. She’ll be taking the stage at 6:00 PM; show up early and help her get her pre-gig drunk on.
  

Don’t watch that! What this…

• Teh Winna: Ms. Router (with some help from Dan Lamoureux) handily won the Axosoft Geek Marketing contest with her video “Buggin' Out.” Why not take another look at that?
  
• Mid-season replacement: Church was nice enough to turn me on to this campaign to resurrect little-known 70s sci-fi farce Quark via DVD release. The same site also offers episodes for download, which, as Church said, “belies the ridiculous claims of the studios about the impact of piracy.”
  

Get your game on with…

• Moses!: The original Jewish action hero now has his own video game. Kick mummy ass in Return of Egypt. Sure, the game’s in Japanese, but all you really need to know is that Moses is back, and this time it’s personal.

Read cool stuff like…

• Lovin’ the Craft: In this week’s edition of online gaming periodical The Escapist, Allen Varney explores just why it’s so damned hard to make an interesting, functional game centering on H.P. Lovecraft’s Cthulhu Mythos. It’s a good read, specifically for slavering fanboys such as myself.
• White kids love hip-hop: If you’re looking to read something a bit more substantial, I’m gonna throw caution to the wind and recommend Other People’s Property: A Shadow History of Hip-Hop in White America. I picked up the hardcover – for a scant $1647 – from Amazon a couple months back, and I found it to be a fascinating read. If you’re looking for a book expressly about the nature of nerdcore within the realm of hip-hop, you’re gonna be mildly disappointed; but, consequently, if you’re looking for a book that perfectly treads the line between factually grounded illumination and charmingly personal exposition, then this one is sure to please. Jason Tanz explores the incredibly thorny issue of whites in black culture at length, but stops short of A) being preachy and B) giving simple answers to complex (and distinctly subjective) questions.
  

And that, faithful readers (Matt, I’m looking at you), should ensure that you have plenty to do while Z. and company soak up some fun in the sun. I’ll be sure to keep my camera phone holstered in case I see anything adequately nerdy that warrants sharing. Looks for more musical dorkery next week, and thanks, as always, for stopping by. :D

...

...

...

What? You're still here?

Okay, fine. Here's Church's latest video project. He calls it "Charity Case," but I call it Frontalot vs. Chaplin.

Enjoy.

I need to start packing.

Where’s Wheelie

The primary reason behind the fervent blogging on my part over the last few days hinges handily on the fact that the Family Z. is going on a bit of a mini-vacation for the latter part of this week. We are going, as all good suburban families surely do, to the beach, and that sort of activity generally precludes making with the geeky music news. As such, I planned to dazzle you all – dazzle you, says I – with some extra crunchy info as my truncated work week winds down.

Unfortunately, I’ve recently found my one nugget of unabashed “A” material to be, for lack of a better word, neutered.

The crux of today’s little news brief was supposed to be that next Saturday’s mc chris gig at Seattle’s Chop Suey was to feature hometown heroes Optimus Rhyme as the opener. Moreover, said show was also going to double as the CD release party for He Dies in Rocket School, the remix album of their instant nerdcore classic School the Indie Rockers. But, alas, this no longer looks to be the case.

A quick glance at Chop Suey’s calendar reveals that on the 30th mc will share the gig with mere “Special Guests,” and that makes me a very sad panda. True, with me being a literal nation away from the show, I shouldn’t have much of a vested interest in the lineup, but, at the same time, the very idea of that rare amalgamation of mc’s frenetic tenor and Wheelie’s bassy brogue couldn’t help but thrill me.

So, essentially, I guess today’s news is that there is no news. Or, at least, that the news that was is no longer... If you get my meaning.

Sure, mc chris is back on tour, and that is undeniably awesome. And, of course, Optimus Rhyme will surely rock Seattle to its molten core with the release of their new album; that too is fuckin’ phenomenal. But, sadly, these two events – which together would have surely coalesced to form a perfect storm of nerdcore goodness – are now entirely disparate.

Oh, Discordia!

Radio Free Hipster Ep. 24: Summer Skin

“Summer turns me upside down / Summer summer summer / It’s like a merry-go-round.”

So sang Ric Ocasek, and who am I to disagree?

This edition of RFH is (roughly) summer-themed. There’s some music that’s explicitly about summer, and a bit that’s more casually related to warm-weather activities. I really enjoyed putting this ep together because it not only gave me a chance to listen to some exclusive material, but also to some tracks from my two favorite records of the moment, International Metamorphosis and Zero One.

And that, my friends, is how I get my summer on.

Download Radio Free Hipster Ep. 24: Summer Skin [hosting provided by Antisocial] Size: 41.1 MB Running Time: 44:52

Show Notes:

Intro: Baddd Spellah (feat. Beefy) – “Radio Free Hipster Theme”
This track sounds great regardless of season.

Track 1: The Goondocks - “()”
I still have no idea what the hell this song is called. “Open Parentheses, Close Parentheses” is the best I can come up with.

Z’s first interlude: “Jo, Blair, Tootie, Fat Natalie…”
It always comes back to The Facts of Life!

Track 2: DJBC - “Hotbreaker”
If you’re not listening to Tim’s Radio Clash podcast, you should be!

Track 3: DJ Beef - “DJ Beef Goes All-City” / Robin Williams / Cousin Eddie
Halifax must be some kinda hip-hop town, as it has given us Jesse D, Uncle Fester, Wordburglar, et al. Do yourself a favor and download this entire mixtape.

Track 4: Billy Idol - “Hot in the City Tonight”
I know Billy was the marketable face of the post-punk, MTV revolution, and I also understand that he was supposed to be the very epitome of hip in the 1980s. Still, he always struck me as an interminable dorkwad.

Track 5: Rachael Layne - “Summer, Highland Falls”
This is yet another gem I pulled from Glenn Case’s expansive online library.

Track 6: Ziwtra - “Stomp the Summer Sky”
And this is yet another gem I pulled from OverClocked ReMix. It pays to have old standbys!

Track 7: Fourteen Year Old Girls - “Beach Party”
“Take Luigi with you; use the buddy code.”

Z’s 2nd interlude: “New love and drinking.”
There’s something about summer that always makes me think of romance and booze. Perhaps it’s my poetic heart.

Track 8: Shael Riley - “Bandaid”
Shael told me early on that he didn’t wanna leak any demo material from the new album. I have no idea what sparked this change of heart, but I am thrilled to present this track.

Track 9: DJ Mashup - “Kool Temperature (EVEN Kooler edit)” / Ollie Williams
It’s hard to follow-up a track about hospital sex. I thought this sufficed.

Track 10: FOXHOUND - “TwoFace”
In their own words, “FOXHOUND plays the music of the 8-bit/16-bit golden age of video-gaming with an earnestness and gravity that is completely ridiculous.” God, I love this band!

Track 11: Dual Core - “Give Me Wings”
I am decaffeinated and also very old, so I totally missed the whole “Red Bull and Vodka” thing. This song makes me really regret that.

Z’s final interlude: “My little jaunt through the nerdy (and not-so nerdy) songs of summer.”
I’m still unsure how Billy Idol made it into this podcast. Perhaps it was the wine.

Track 12: YTCracker and the Tanner 4105 Orchestra - “Phillip Nis in High School”
It sort of makes me feel good to know that Nis hasn't always had all the info. ;)

I tried to make this episode of the podcast a little different, a little, I dunno, jazzier. I like to spice shit up for y'all at irregular intervals.

I'll wager I missed a lot of great summer songs, so feel free to point out any classics I may have ignored. Who knows when I'll get the wild hair and decide to do another summer ep.

As always, your comments are encouraged. I am nothing without your input.

Thanks for playing.

Righteous Bad-Ass

I seem to have shorted you all a video in my previous NNIB, so allow me to make amends. Below is the newest piece of hip-hop mastery from Halifax's Jesse Dangerously. Behold and be amazed!

Nerd News in Brief

This weekend, in between checking out its rock-ass children’s library and helping Diego rescue Baby Jaguar’s growl, the family Z. were afforded an excellent opportunity to explore downtown Charlotte. Honestly, it’s been a while since I soaked in the unique charm of our closest urban center, and, while most of the old sights, sounds, and smells were as I recalled, I seem to have forgotten that Charlotte, NC is a scant 20 miles from the surface of the goddamn sun!

There is simply no heat like city heat, and it is with that feeling of oppressive clamminess that I was most impressed. Well, that and the sight of that guy dressed like My Buddy carting two My Buddy dolls around in a stroller buying what appeared to be hand-made, macramé pot holders from an elderly biker couple.

Ah, the city!

• Rock out with your dork out: Earlier this month, Glenn Case’s group The Half Racks played a show at the Comet in Spokane. Glenn was nice enough to upload a shit-ton of clips to YouTube, and you are fervently encouraged to check ‘em out.
• On the road again: In other news from the Northwest, my boy Beefy has finally gotten the bulk of his summer tour plans ironed out. Upcoming events include shows at Club Hypnotiq in Lebanon, OR on June 22; The Trove in Grants Pass, OR on June 24; shows in San Francisco, and Soledad, CA on the 28 and 29, respectively; another OR show on July 1 in Bandon; and, of course, the WOW Hall gig with mc chris in Eugene, OR on July 3.
• Fancy-schmancy: Rhyme Torrents mastermind High-C has recently found some time to return to the boards, and has just dropped the knowledge that the seventh edition of the compilation will be a bit of a change from the previous incarnations. “This one will have to be very pro,” High-C says, “MC Chris is going to be on it, probably MC Lars. Hopefully Frontalot, too […] That means you need to have top-notch production, tight-ass delivery. You have six months to do a single song that is gobsmackingly cool.” Artists interested in smacking gobs should contact High-C immediately.
• NASCAR!!!: Last week, Doc Pop posted his own hand-inked, hilariously rescripted take on a classic page of Jack Kirby-penciled Thor. The results are delightful!
• Shadow over Chilliwack: Sadly, I neglected to mention that Canadian Lovecraftian rockers Darkest of the Hillside Thickets celebrated their first ever Fan Appreciation Day last Friday. The newest Thickets album Shadow Out of Tim is scheduled to drop this Thursday, and that album’s first single, “A Marine Biologist,” is available for free download at the band’s MySpace.
• Cephalopod with opposable thumbs: Taking the above booboo into consideration, I offer this pic as penance. Cthulhu Monkey implores you to forgive a wretched blogger of his errors. (Thanks, Church!)

More Nerd News in Brief

Is everybody truly working for the weekend? I'm just asking, 'cause, y'know, it's pretty much here. Is it okay if I just go ahead and stop working? Between you and me, I'm pretty much tapped.

Thankfully, I'll have a few days to recuperate. To recuperate and watch Go Diego Go Live!

I'm totally not joking about that.

While I ponder my fate, please enjoy More Nerd News in Brief.

• Farewell, old friend: Earlier this week we lost a beloved television icon. Under the guise of Mr. Wizard, Don Herbert instilled within a generation of American children a love of science and a genuine fascination with the world around them. In doing so he also helped to inspire the first wave of contemporary nerds. He will be sorely missed, but never forgotten.
• Penny Arcaded!: Congrats to int eight and c64 – collectively known as Dual Core – for their recent shout-out from Penny Arcade’s Gabe. As I stated previously, their debut album Zero One is a must-own, and I’m glad to know that others agree.
• BRAINS!: How did it escape my keen eye that this Wednesday was Blog Like It’s the End of the World Day? How did I possibly miss out on a quasi-holiday for bloggers centered around the eminent zombie apocalypse? I’d imagine the only person more pissed about missing this than I am is my boy ZeaLouS1.
• Epic Proportions: Speaking of, the BOSS FIGHT San Diego Comic-Con show I nigh finalized. Head over to ZeaLouS1’s site for the skinny including an incredibly impressive lineup!
• Up in smoke: For those of you worried that the Wizard Rock community would begin taking itself a bit too seriously following the recent MTV exposure, may I present Harry Potter and the Magic of Music. Oh course, all thanks for this one go to my boy Church and his uncanny ability to find startlingly weird shit.
• Gamers Unite: It’s no secret that I generally wrap up these posts with a video of the slap-nuts funny variety, but today I’m gonna break form. The guys at PBC Productions – the same folks who brought you The New Adventures of Captain S – have another project in the works. This one, however, is a bit more serious. Their Gamers Against Violence Documentary is a two-part mini doc centering on the events and outcomes of NYC’s recent Gamers Against Violence rally. If you’ve got a moment, take a look at the individual segments at the PBC Web site, and, if you feel so led, Digg the project. Gamer culture has taken many a hit of late, and it's always nice to hear someone from our side speak up.
  

Sink the Pink

Australians are fuckin’ crazy. I’m just sayin’.

Maybe it’s got something to do with the fact that half of the country was settled by Europeans via penal transportation. Hell, maybe it’s due to the alarmingly high number of indigenous marsupials; being in close proximity to that many pouched critters could make anyone loopy!

Personally, I think it’s the beer, and, with that in mind, let me present exhibit A. It’s a video sneak-peak of some of the new material you’ll be hearing from Canberra’s own Grandmaster Pink and Diabolik on their forthcoming EP.

Notice the crazed look in Pinky’s eyes. Notice the startling nature of his meticulously calculated flow. Notice the wild gyrations. Notice the beer.

Still, as crazy as those cats are, I can't help but be excited for the new release. Rest assured that I'll do everything in my power to score some exclusive preview tracks for the podcast. I have ways - crazy ways - all my own.

Nerd News in Brief

I don't watch The Sopranos, so forgive my glaring lack of righteous indignation concerning the series finale.

I've heard the sordid tale, and I totally understand why people are pissed, but, frankly, my only concern is that “Little Stevie” Van Zandt won't be getting that steady paycheck anymore.

You've still got the Underground Garage, Steve!

And now, while I continue my one-sided conversation with the guitarist of the E-Street Band, please enjoy the Nerd News in Brief.

• News flash!: Apparently, fervently playing Nintendo Wii for hours on end can cause some discomfort. Who knew? Thanks, medical science!
• Not the only game in town: MTV recently unleashed upon its viewership that Wizard Rock piece we'd been waiting for. Honestly, it wasn't nearly as condescending as I'd anticipated. My only complaint? The omission of the simple fact that bands have, in fact, been thematically centering themselves around works such as Star Trek and The Lord of the Rings for years now. C'mon, people!
• It's Router's world, we just live in it: MC Router recently made the front page of YouTube with her Dan Lamouruex-directed video “Buggin' Out.” A heavily eye-lined Router also gave an exclusive interview to online musical community Made Loud. She's even got a couple of gigs lined up: June 15th at The Wreck Room and June 24 at Embargo as part of the FW Weekly showcase. In short, Router demands your attention.
• Worth a thousand EXP points: The fellows over at Game Music 4 All have posted some great picks of their recent Level Up event. You can also watch IllGill and ZeaLous1 drop some freestyle with game rockers Toploader right here. For those of us who couldn't be there in person, this is the next best thing.
• A sentimental observation ‘bout the moon: My pal Church recently came across a piece over at Zen Habits that put him in mind of a certain MC Frontalot track. Unfortunately, the track in question was not “Gonna Be Your Man.”
• Feel the burn: Church also turned me on to Dance Dance Emolation. “It's just like Dance Dance Revolution. But with flamethrowers. Pointed at you.”
• Little know fact: LogicOne is, in reality, Dr. Reed Richards. Don't believe me? Then why is the title of his forthcoming album The Fantastic Dr. Richards? I gotcha with that one!
• I've been a bad, bad boy: And lastly, last week's tardy edition of NNIB elicited some strange reactions. Not the least of which was a solid scolding from my pal Matt from Headphone Sacrament. Still, in spite of his disappointment he was nice enough to share the following vid, which I will now pass on to you. May the circle be unbroken.

In Memoriam

Rather than drop another edition of the Nerd News In Brief, I have instead elected to focus my energy on a solitary item this sunny Friday afternoon. Yesterday it was announced on the Rhyme Torrents forums that Emergency Pizza Party is no more; ironically enough, this proclamation was made by Sir-Up, traditionally the group’s least vocal member.

Whether you count yourself an EPP fan or not, the impact they had on post-RT nerdcore is undeniable. The group was a fixture of the greater Florida scene and a prime catalyst that precipitated the veritable explosion of regular nerdcore shows in the area. EPP were known for their eclectic style, their frenetic performances, and their eternally swelling roster.

The band was also know for its totally unorthodox sense of humor, and I, like many other scenesters, simply assumed that this announcement was some other obscure in-joke appreciated only by the members of the Party themselves. It appears, however, that it’s for real, and, as such, I thought it warranted a little pomp and/or circumstance.

I find it kinda hard to be blue, as Sir-Up explicitly stated that the former members of the group would continue to make music independently. Instead, I’ll simply wish them all the best in their endeavors and hope that the split affords them each the artistic growth that they seek. Best of luck to Sir-Up and Fanatical on their up-coming solo releases, Ben and Wreckshin on their future projects, and – my personal favorite – Miss Betty Rebel on whatever musical avenues she chooses to tread.

MagiTek, Krondor Krew, and Superfiends: y’all keep the dream alive.

Not some lame campers

Ah, semantics!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I don’t do reviews.

I do, however, occasional post a lengthy personal impression of an album of note. Such is the case today.

When the opportunity to score a free copy of Dual Core’s new release Zero One (simply by virtue of agreeing to discuss it) presented itself, I jumped on that shit. Having heard only a few clips of the album via their Web site and MySpace, I knew that this was the type of release that would bear repeated listening, and that’s imperative when it comes to arrangements like these.

It’s not simple enough for me to say “I like this” when it comes to sharing album impressions. If I like something, I want to know why I like it. The same goes for something I don’t like. It’s unfair for me to simply tell you something is good or bad without qualifying why I feel that way in as objective a manner as possible. That means, of course, that I have to listen to an album extensively. Agonize over it. Delve into its dark recesses. Ponder over its diminutive form. Sleep with it tucked under my pillow. Bathe with it…

Okay, maybe not that last one, but I do have to spend a lot of quality time with the release in question. And that’s why – for those who may be wondering – the impressions I share are overwhelmingly positive; if a disk doesn’t stand up to my rigorous listening regimen, it never makes it past the planning stages. In order for me to share my impressions of a release, that album has to make an impression on me. Such was the case with Zero One. Which I will now explain in excruciating detail… for your benefit.

1. “A New Hope” – Dual Core start the album with a great musical hook and a calculated flow that let you know exactly what you’re in for. c64’s smart use of (blatantly uncleared) samples plays excellently against int eighty as he relates the overall plot arc of the Star Wars saga. While the backing loops get a little tinny and seems a tad thin at times, this track is mechanically polished, undeniably danceable, and manages to provide a funny and unexpected ending. I’m honestly not sure if I should praise or penalize eighty for the “dickfor” line, but suffice it to say it elicited a chuckle.
2. “Try Space” – “Try Space” is, for those who’ve heard the track, the thematic flipside to Gym Class Heroes’ “New Friend Request.” The drastic musical change-up and slice-of-life lyrics seem to punctuate the idea that crazy girlfriends are a lot like the videotape from The Ring; the only way to save yourself is to pass ‘em on. While the manner in which c64 changes the beat up for the chorus sounds a bit drastic, it really helps break up the track. Plus it totally works, which is a testament to his gift for the craft.
3. “War Games” – Here int eighty takes the sentient computer narrative well into new ground by paradoxically leading you on a pop culture trip through the forgone days of the vacuum tube, the evolution of ARPANET, and even to the birth of the consumer Internet as we know it, complete with clever references to all the relevant films. Musically and lyrically, this track is impeccable.
4. “Rule Them All” – While it’s hard to unseat Lords of the Rhymes as the world’s preeminent rappers of Tolkien’s iconic saga, Dual Core aren't trying to. They’re simply putting their own musical spin on “traditional” nerd rap source material, much in the same way they did with “A New Hope.” c64 ‘s layered production approach really shines, and int eighty displays the scope of his hip-hop lyricism with multiple end rhymes and skillful alliteration. My only complaint concerning this track – and my only major gripe with anything on the album – is the vocal fade-out prior to the breakdown. It doesn’t ruin the song for me, but it does momentarily take me out of the experience. Of course, it also opens the door for some competent scratching and a well-placed voicemail from 64 himself that punch up the ending considerably.
5. “Hostage Down” – I’m going to assume that everyone has heard this particular track and cut right to the chase: this is a phenomenal song. One could even say it’s Dual Core’s musical calling card, and with good reason. It showcases a smooth flow and a dazzlingly frenetic production style that aren’t simply accessible, but also completely danceable. The cleverly calculated, sing-along chorus makes this song sure to please. Hell, the track’s so solid that I don’t even mind that it’s almost 5 minutes long! A flawless hook, a bevy of (again: uncleared) samples, and some fantastic scratching make this the most convincing commercial for Counter-Strike imaginable.
6. “Light Prototype” – Again, this is another track where we hear the duo put their own spin on a nerd music standard. Still, eighty’s nostalgic ruminations concerning Mega Man throughout the years are summarily enhanced by his interjection of a little CS rap know-how. Musically, this track was my least favorite on the album, but it’s still a smooth jam that serves to highlight c64’s range as a producer. For me, the outro really makes the track.
7. “Void (No Return)” – What’s this? Another slow jam? Yes, but this time with a definitive purpose. Dual Core manage to do what law enforcement has feared for the better part of a decade: to put a human face on the perpetrators of cybercrime. Further, eighty’s lyrics serve as a reminder of that oh-so inconvenient truth that it’s a parent’s job to raise a child, and that fucked up situations very often lead kids down similarly fucked up paths. Truthfully, this is a brilliant track that is impossible to ignore. It affords the listener an opportunity to really get a feel for eighty’s ability to weave a lyrical narrative. And while I can see why some folks would be turned off by its “ripped from the headlines” approach, I feel this song shows how music – even within the relatively narrow scope of our subculture – can approach an important concept in a way that other media would (or could) not. Haunting, compelling, heart-rending, and ultimately important, I applaud the guys for including this track.
8. “Dull Boy” – Work sucks songs aren’t a new concept, but Dual Core continue tradition by putting a great and original spin on the concept. While the understated scratching didn’t do it for me, the samples and the frantic beat really did. The same can be said for eighty’s take-no-prisoners lyrical indictment of office politics and the true bane of the worker: ineffectual executives. On the subject of the hard life of the unappreciated coder, Dual Core manage to voice frustration without sounding trite or whiny.
9. “Cipher Punks (feat. Remington Forbes)” – This one is a true standout! int eighty and guest MC Remington Forbes manage not so much to lyrically wrestle, but flow around each other. On the production side, c64 remembers that less can be more and he merely interjects what needs to be there for the sake of movement. And anyway, nerdcore’s always been sorely bereft of competent beatboxing. ;) All-in-all, this song is a personal favorite. Remington is a standout guest, and he and Dual Core do their utmost to get you moving. The old school, street corner vibe of this track is simply flawless from top to bottom. I can’t praise this song enough.
10. “First One’s Free” – While the quintessential Penny Arcade song has long been written, Dual Core bring to the table their own unique idea about what a musical tribute to Gabe and Tycho should entail. eighty alternately puts himself in the mix and ruminates on the brilliance of the comic’s storied past, and he doesn’t neglect to praise the creators for all they’ve done for both nerd culture and the greater community. Musically this track is also a little stripped down and a good build-up from previous entry. This amazingly crafted song left me with only one question: who the fuck is Mustafa?
11. “2 Wycked” – I’ll be the first to admit that this track is the most lyrically simplistic on the album, but, truthfully, isn’t that what Carl deserves? Musically fierce, “2 Wycked” is hard not to love, especially if you dig Aqua Teen Hunger Force. This was the track where I found myself genuinely wondering if c64 isn’t a former club DJ, as the song simply moves along too perfectly within the confines of its challenging but danceable groove. Brilliantly placed samples more than make up for my minor gripe concerning the vocal meter of the chorus.
12. “The Children’s Machine (OLPC)” – Listening to this musically untouchable and lyrically poignant offering, I can’t help but think that not many cats would write this song, let alone include it on their debut release. And, truthfully, I doubt anyone could pull it off with a similar level of care, skill, and dedication as Dual Core. Much respect to c64 and int eighty for making this, and more for simply doing it so well. I’m tempted to say this song marks the birth of a new breed of conscious geek rap, but you can tell from the heart-felt thanks dispensed to those involved in the XO-1 project that Dual Core aren’t concerned with making a name for themselves as the guys who bring heart to technical rhyming; they simply seek to state their gratitude to those involved in such an important undertaking.
13. “End of the Road” – Okay, this one is gonna piss off some heads who question nerd rap and its place in the echelons of hip-hop proper, but such an argument is, in this case, totally unfounded. It is readily apparent that eighty and 64 have a genuine affection for hip-hop, and I feel that alone makes this track relevant. The guys aren’t merely calling out the rampant consumerism and lack of challenging themes in modern rap; in truth they are attempting to enact change by first changing themselves. Are the allegations harsh? Sure, but maybe they should be. And, consequently, eighty pulls no punches against bedroom MCs who claim their lack of polish as a badge of honor either. In the end, Dual Core practice what they preach by making the hip-hop they want to hear. Despite a minor lyrical misstep, this song manages to make almost 6 minutes of song time enjoyable and enlightening thanks to bright production that handily compliments (rather than overpowers) the lyrical truth as eighty sees it.
14. “Give Me Wings” – “Give Me Wings” is the ultimate Dual Core club banger. The guys end on a high note, and it’s with some of their best work. The song itself manages to make the clichéd sound new again and to keep the hip-hop dream alive. It’s old school but not played out. It’s fun without being disposable. This track is almost the opposite of “Dull Boy;” it tells us how coders get down in the face of crunch time. If, despite the quality of the album so far, you’ve managed to hold onto any uncertainties concerning the dedication and skill of int eighty and c64, this should obliterate them entirely. In summation: lyrically relatable, immanently enjoyable, and featuring some of the best production I’ve heard period. Dance, muthafuckers!
15. “Hostage Down (Remix)” – I consider these last few tracks the encore. Dual Core fed you a 14-course meal, but they also sprang for desert. It starts off with a fantastic remix of a fantastic track. Between this and the original mix, it’s a bit hard to pick a favorite. Thankfully, I don’t have to.
16. “Cipher Punks (Studio)” – This version has a little more polish than the original, but it still maintains the former’s street corner aesthetic. This track once again reminds you what c64 can do. I love how he keeps the beatboxing at the forefront and merely builds on it to flesh out the song.
17. “Light Prototype (Remix)” – This remix really rocks the 8-bit to put another spin on “Light Prototype.” Maybe the loop gets a bit repetitive, but it’s still a nice extra track.
18. “Hostage Down (Radio)” – Lastly, we have a radio-friendly option of the album's first single for any interested parties. I always hate to hear profanity removed from a song, but the track itself doesn’t suffer without swears. That should tell you something.

While Dual Core’s first release does tread some common thematic ground, it also expands into subjects not normally touched on – or, at least, not generally elaborated upon – within the sphere of nerdcore hip-hop. More importantly, however, is the fact that int eight and c64 seem totally disinterested in whether the or not their song topics and methodologies are “nerdy enough.” They merely intend to make the best music they can for no other reason than the simple fact that they can. Their dedication to genuine quality and self-realization as artists bleed through every track.

In a genre that sometimes seems more interested in talking about music than actually making it, Dual Core stand out as a beacon of musical integrity. They make the music that they love, and (without regard to hype or criticism) int eighty and c64 focus on creating the most polished and competent tracks possible while still sticking close to that “love what you do, do what you love” ethic.

And that brings us to the only question that matters: would I recommend this album?

Certainly. Zero One is skillfully crafted without sounding pretentious, competently produced without sounding insubstantial, and delightfully nerdy without ever coming off as gimmicky. It is both a nerdcore album for fanboys and an excellent piece of hip-hop artistry for even the most rudimentarily open-minded.

Buy it for your friends. Buy it for yourself. Play it at your next house party, and take a stand for genuinely creative independent music.

“But still they don’t see what I’m capable of.”

Nerd News in Brief

This weekend the wife and I watched Pan's Labyrinth, and the whole time I kept thinking about how differently the Spanish Civil War would've gone if the rebels had only solicited the help of Spain's indigenous magical creatures. I'm just sayin'.

And now, while I ponder the eternal struggle of fascism versus supernatural monarchy, please enjoy Nerd News in Brief.

• Game (Rock) On: By all accounts, Level Up, the first live outing ever put together by my friends from Game Music 4 All, was a rousing success. Congrats to all who participated, and happy belated birthday to the GM4A crew!
  
• Wait… Texas is a democracy?!: Local entertainment magazine Forth Worth Weekly has compiled the nominees for its 2007 music awards, and our own MC Router made the cut. Please make your way to the booth in an orderly fashion and cast a vote for your girl. And, contrary to popular wisdom, I'm gonna suggest that you should mess with Texas.
  
• In Ur Valley Getting Uncanny: As part of his continuing mission to provide me with an unending supply of smart-assed macros, my bro Church has recently uncovered LOL BOTS. Sweet, delectable memes!
  
• Clearly Canadian: Jesse Dangerously has a new EP in the works called Verba Volant. Much like his previous Inter Alia , this work “is produced half-and-half by two of Backburner's A-list producers - this time Fresh Kils and Timbuktu.” More info (including a track listing) can be found over here.
  
• Light at the end of the tunnel: And lastly, my pal Gabriel (of Nerdcore News) recently conducted an interview with my other pal funky49. This particular interview stands as the last section in a seventy-six part feature on nerdcore in the greater Florida area. You think I'm joking.

More Nerd News in Brief

Damn you CBS!

I had such high hopes for Pirate Master. I did, and I'm not ashamed to say it as my love of piracy precedes me. But of course it fuckin' sucked ‘cause, y'know, it's a reality show and a midseason replacement at that.

I reckon sometimes I just expect too much.

*le sigh* Here's some More Nerd News in Brief.

• SOLD!: Big up to nerdcore superfan Bandog for kicking in a cool 71 bones to help get ZeaLouS1 to Florida. I mean, he got a treasure trove of rare and unreleased nerdcore tracks for his trouble, but big up to the lad anyways!
• Not to be confused with The Fox and the Hound : If you, consequently, would like to jam to something a little further away from the nerdy rap game but still imminently geek-friendly, I'd humbly suggest a new NYC-based collective calling itself FOXHOUND. They skillfully incorporate jazzy brass and bright rock sounds to create a flavor of game rock heretofore uncharted. Give the self professed “MOST. BAND. EVER” a listen over at their MySpace.
• Embrace your doom: While you're MySpacing it up, you might also wanna peep this bulletin . If my readin' skills are still up to par, it appears as though Captured By Robots and Stovokor have joined forces for a gig at Berbati's Pan in Portland. It's $10 at the door, and kicks of at 9:00 in the PM. And it's 21+, so as to spare the children the gruesome site of all-out rock decimation!
• Never Gonna Give You Up: My brothers at Northwest Nerdcore have seen fit to favor us with another edition of the NWNC podcast. However, I can neither confirm nor deny the inclusion of Rick Astley in their revelry.
• For those about to rock: My other brothers over at Game Music 4 All are putting on their first ever concert this Saturday at CIA in North Hollywood. The show starts at 8:00 PM, and features VGM from Two Playa Game, 8 Bit Bandit, Super Barrio Brothers, Toploader, and The Megas. Plus there's a Guitar Hero II Tournament. All this for ten bucks plus you get first crack at GM4A's compilation album Music EXP!
• All samples (un)cleared: Nerdcore producer and all around remixing mastermind nYgel recently announced a soon-to-be released nerdcore mixtape. In his own words: “ I have several, of what I feel are the best suited for this project, artists who are on this with me. I plan on several things on this tape but mainly [it's] just something this ... community hasn't yet been exposed to.” I, for one, can't wait to hear this shit.
• North of the Border: Canadian hip-hop demi-god Wordburglar will be performing at NXNE on Thursday, June 07 at 11:00 PM as part of a showcase entitled “A Geographical Lesson in Hip Hop.” Burg'll be going on at 11:00 PM, so get their early and plan to stay late.
• More pirates!: And lastly, the results are in. mc chris has announced who'll be opening for him at his full-tilt nerd-fest in Eugene, OR in July. Congrats to the folks who made the cut, and thanks to everyone who participated in the voting.
  

Some things you just have to share.

What for who now?

Nerd News in Brief

Oh, it's been far too long, my friends, but I am – as they say in the vernacular – all up in this bitch with another edition of Nerd News in Brief.

• Constitution +1: Adam Mapleson is just like you or me; he likes metal and Counter-Strike. Except he also took a bullet for a bullet for a security guard outside a railway station in Essex. What's this? A gamer making a valiant, selfless move rather than shooting up a local 7-Eleven? Suck on that Jack Thompson!
  
• Sunday Bloody Sunday: Looking for something to do this Sunday? Do you like hip-hop, punk rock, portly Latinos, and the beach? Then you gotsta check out my boy Beefy and a cavalcade of nor'eastern punkers as they storm Seaside, OR. It's an outdoor gig at a skate park, ergo the odds of Beef busting his ass are high.
• Bid early, bid often: I mentioned a bit ago that you, faithful reader, have the power to transport ZeaLouS1 from his California hideaway to the ramshackle east coast. The good news is you don't even have to use your burgeoning arcane abilities. You can simply bid on this MP3 player full of musical juiciness. Intrigued? You should be.
• Viva la… um…: My pal Brüx recently discovered that there may well be a Mexican Revolutionary among the Empire's Storm Troopers. I call him Pancho Fett . You will doubtlessly call him adorable.
  
• Survey says?: A Minibosses fan named Clemens, a grad student working on his MA, is currently conducting a survey about the Minis for one of his policy classes. If you've got a moment, take a look and help a brother out.
• Nerdy/Nice: MC Frontalot needs a place to park his gear trailer. If you live within 75 miles of NYC and have a driveway, garage, or yard that is solely lacking the nerdiest medium-sized, white, one-axle trailer in existence, holler at Front. And thou shalt have riches in heaven. And probably some free t-shirts.
  
• I helpded U wif Ur codin: Do you like code and adorable cat macros ? No, I mean seriously. ‘Cause if you do you should maybe consider investing some time in learning lolcode. KTHXBYE
  
• Free Awesome, Inquire Within: You ain't shit if you don't download the latest mixtape from the fine folks at Nerdy South Records. You fuckin' heard me.
  
• W-Effin-S: And lastly, I'd just like to say that this beats the hell out of all of Shatner's other musical endeavors.

Radio Free Hipster Ep. 23: Analogue

Despite my newly-taxed schedule, I still found time to slap together another edition of Radio Free Hipster. Who loves ya, baby?
This one came together pretty easily, and that always worries me. When a show comes together with minimal effort on my part, when the songs just sort of fit together on their own without me having to hammer out the ends and spot weld the bastards together, I worry that it sucks.
Hell, maybe it does.
If so, I'm sure ya'll'll let me know.
That's an integral part of our little arrangement.
Download Radio Free Hipster Ep. 23: Analogue [hosting provided by Antisocial] Size: 46.2 MB Running Time: 50:28

Show Notes:

Intro: Baddd Spellah (feat. Beefy) – “Radio Free Hipster Theme”
There is no alternate/equivalent of this song. Much like the cheese, it stands alone.
Track 1: Shael Riley – “Float On”
Shael got the opening spot two eps. in a row. I'm not sure if that's an honor or not.
Z's 1st interlude: “Two very divergent impressions of the same source material .”
This type of song arrangement appeals to my OCD. I hope y'all dig it too.

Track 2: Rx – “Sunday Bloody Sunday”
I've had this song waiting in the wings since episode 2. Now seemed like a good time to spring it on you.

Track 3: Optimus Rhyme – “Ping Pong Song”
Is there a nerdier sport than ping pong? This is not a rhetorical question.
Track 4: Q-Unit – “Crazy Little Pimp Called Love”
I fancy myself as beyond idle misogyny, so I am ceaselessly surprised when I find myself shouted “SHIT, TRICK!” whenever I hear this track.

Track 5: NESkimos – “Mega Man X: Sigma Level 1”
The map system in Mega Man ZX really pisses me off. That's not particularly relevant, but I wanted to get it off my chest.

Track 6: Optimiss – “Wiid (optimisssurfix)”
I love this remix so much more than the original track it makes me a bit embarrassed.

Track 7: J. Thomas Jeans – “Simple Piano”
There are a ton of amazing re-imaginings of Delia's classic over at Who Mix!

Z's 2nd interlude: “Being the opportunistic bastard that I am…”
You heard it hear first, folks.

Track 8: R34pz – “Modern Vintage”
This may not be my favorite Who Mix, but it sure as hell has may favorite title.

Track 9: nYgel – “Stay Wiid”
I like nYgel and mc chris, but I must deduct points from both for capitalization.

Track 10: housethegrate – “Light in the Fortress”
OverClocked ReMix. Need I say more?

Track 11: 50 Pence – “P.I.N.T.”
“Keep her off my pint ‘cause I think her wart's catching.”

Track 12: Baddd Spellah – “Ping Pong Song Remix”
I demand an ORPPRB branded sweatband.

Track 13: Party Ben – “Callin' On Sunday”
Lyrics Born may not be nerdcore, but he is nerdy as fuck regardless.

Z's final interlude: “Underwhelming product endorsements.”
My apologies to the folks at Evan Williams, but your white label product has led me to believe that bourbon does, indeed, have an arsehole.

Track 14: DJ Mashup – “NWA Floats On”
I know the quality of this cut is a bit lacking, but I hope you can groove to it regardless.

By my estimation, since becoming a father I stay sick approximately 50% of the time. Now, I've never had what you'd call a robust immune system, but that shit is impressive no matter how you cut it!

Still, I reckon y'all don't generally notice my congestion; the accent tends to camouflage that shit pretty well.

I hope this podcast finds you all well and enjoying temperate weather. Holler at yer boy and lemme know what you thought.

Get your vote on!

Hi,folks. Sorry for the lack of updates this week, but a brand new (read: painfully boring) job has kept me away from my nerdly duties.

Still, I felt it pertinent to share with you this bit of news from the MySpace bulletin of a certain mc chris:

yo! thanks for being patient with me. we've got the venue and we're still waiting for lockdown on the theater. things look ok. now what sucks is that it starts at 8 and not 6:30 like i had thought. so looks like i won't be able to get as many as i thought but i think karl and nurse can rest easy. you guys are definitely in the show if you can get there with ur gear for mic check, be ready etc. i think if i give everyone twenty minute sets and there can be as little load in load off time as possible, we might be able to get a few more in.

i go on at ten.

that leaves about six twenty minutes spots. let's say five with all the changes.

i think we can fit in three more acts. no bands. it has to be just mc's with mics and simple set ups.

i think the folks that have shown interest are:

tanuki

zealous one

beefy

mc gigahertz

funky 49

tg_2005

rappy mc rapperson

dr. strangelove

stuntjunkies

so i'll let u guys decide, who should i put on the bill?!!? reply in my blog and i'll announce next week! peace!

REPLY IN MY BLOG!!! DO NOT REPLY HERE!!! BABY DUCK JESUS HAS CUT UP CHEEKS AND LIPSTICK FACE.

You heard the man, folks; please let mc know who you wanna see in Eugene by posting at his blog.