Gimme an "I"

I don’t give an unholy fuck about the iPhone. I can’ afford one, I couldn’t find one if I had the scratch, and I no doubt lack the adequate amount of Mac-fanboy swagger to properly operate the infernal device even if the previous criteria were met. Plus it’s tethered to the iTunes service, which is, I truly believe, the devil.

But I am not your average joe.

You all probably want an iPhone. You, no doubt, lust for it’s oddly ceramic aesthetic and its uber-funky functionality. And so, I present to you the following links.

Don’t thank me; Church did all the legwork.

• Does your local Apple store have any iPhones in stock? See for yourself. Just don’t end up like poor Brent.
• Meet the guy that was almost the fifth cat in line… yeah… um… Wired? You… you’re not even trying anymore are you? Tough shit, ‘cause Gizmodo stole all the thunder; you can totally watch the line live! Wait… that sucks too.
• Um…Why not watch Stephen Colbert review an iPhone he didn’t get. That’s entertaining. (Note: Steve’s from South Carolina, a state with no Apple stores. I’m just sayin’.)
• For those of you who’ve already given up hope of finagling such a device, why not read the most recent Democratic Debate Report Card. Politics is still a relevant subject, right? Even in our post-iPhone world?
  

More Nerd News in Brief.

I am fascinated by “news,” and I use the term loosely. From the grisly to the entirely impertinent, I am bombarded daily with nuggets of info that in no way enrich my life.

Mostly they just scare me.

Are you happy, Scientific American? Now I’m afraid of bats!

*cough cough* More Nerd News in Brief.

• HOTH WAMPA!: mc chris recently got some face time on Star Wars dot com as part of their Star Wars Rocks collection of features. It’s a pretty interesting read as it covers not only mc’s current nerdy predilections, but those of the halcyon days of his youth. Mostly, I was just relieved to see that I’m not the only person who hasn’t grown any taller since early childhood.
• You’re his only hope: According to a recent MySpace bulletin, mc and company accidentally sent the pirate t-shirts intended for the Dante’s show to WOW Hall. As a result, Mr. Ward is currently looking for “one of you guys to drive up four boxes from Eugene to Portland.” What do you get for your trouble? Gas money and free admittance to the show for starters. Plus, mc’ll “give [you] free pirate merch and [you] can sit in one of the VIP seats at the Transformer screening.” His promises to also get you laid, buy you an iPhone, and give you a robot, unfortunately, look to be hollow. Holler at mc (deadmc@mcchris.com) if you’re interested.
  
• Glenn Case on Glenn Case: Northwestern ultra-nerd Glenn Case was recently interviewed for the Spokane 7. He talked about Song Fight!, the Half Racks, his remixes, and his “vinyl birthday.” Read it to find out.
• Fo Free: LA rockers Totally Radd! will be performing at the Viper Room for the Indie 103 Check One.. Two night on Monday, July 2nd. The bad news? The show’s 21+. The good news? The guys’ll get you in for free if you RSVP: rsvp@totallyradd.com
  
• RvB no more: Church just reminded me that the series featuring his namesake, Red vs. Blue, will shortly be no more. The finale of “The Blood Gulch Chronicles” should be available for viewing tomorrow. This is pretty much common knowledge, so I’ll just put it in a memo entitled “Shit You Already Know.”
• Like Ross and Rachel: Northwest Nerdcore is on a break. In Tanuki’s own words, the project “has been pretty much running on sheer determination for about two months now. We're burned out. We're taking a break.” Nook and company will, however, still do the mc chris show on the 3rd and, of course, Nerdcore Night at PAX. Everything else, though, is up in the air. Nook, y’all know where to find me if you need anything.
• Catfight!: And lastly, Beefy has started posting pix on a new Flickr account. There are a lot of as-yet unseen shots from The Mediocre Tour, and I found this image particularly charming. Girls will be girls.

Nerd News in Brief

I would regale you all with tales of my recent vacation, but I reckon the Dead Milkmen have already provided a pretty fair summation.

I am not a beach person. I am a desk person. And from this desk I bring you Nerd News in Brief.

• Calculate your Dangerosity: In answer to “the cats who apparently disagree that [he’s] on another level, skill-wise,” Jesse Dangerously has issued the following challenge: haters are encouraged to download the instrumental for his track “Outfox’d” – a personal favorite, if I do say so myself – and record a “a karaoke cover version that does any kind of justice” to the original. Jesse’s kindly provided the lyrics at his MySpace, and will be keeping a running tab of the attempts at his blog.
• No words to describe: If the cover version afforded by Jesse's challenge don’t float your boat, why not check out a Theremin cover of Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy.” I’m totally not joking. Thanks to funky49 for directing my attention toward this one.
• Meanwhile, back at the Baxter Building: My man LogicOne has just dropped “Give 'em More,” the first official single from his debut release The Fantastic Dr. Richards. You can check it out at his MySpace.
• A parting shot: Before heading off for his summer tour, Beef Thompson dropped a new track as well; this one is Beefy’s own personal diss track and is entitled “Diss Missed.” You can hear the song here and chart its response over at the RT boards.
• Weeding out the Replicants: Ill content to let funky 49 snatch his crown for the weirdest submission to a NNIB, my bro Church counters with the following: The Wave Magazine (EDIT: not-so) recently administered the Voight-Kampf test to San Francisco mayoral candidates. Tom Ammiano earns bonus points for getting the joke.
• Tales from the comic shop: And lastly, here’s a clip of Sir-Up unveiling his new track “Duo of Destruction” at a (newly retooled) Emergency Pizza Party show at last week's Florida Supercon. Enjoy!